Winter Song
by Priseya Lane
Summary: Natsume went to his final mission before graduation, but no one knew it'll indeed be his very last. Mikan's life was turned upside down with that event. Driven by grief, she was desperate to know what the mission was about and why it was so important that it cost Natsume his life. What she'll find however was beyond what she thought it could be. (Ready To Fall stand-alone sequel)
1. Chapter 1: Count To Six then Die

**Winter Song**

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_**Author's Notes:** __In a way, this can be considered a sequel to my first fan fiction story "_Ready to Fall_". However, this can be read as a stand-alone, so no worries if you haven't read the previous story yet. Of course, I won't stop you from doing so. In fact, I'll encourage you to read it, just for the enjoyment of it. _

_The story is set ten years after Mikan first set foot in the Academy. The content is a bit mature, thus I rated it as such. I hope you enjoy this as I have enjoyed writing it. And like always, reviews and feedback will always be welcome. Cheers!_

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**1| Count to Six then Die**

Escape or die. Those were the only choices.

Unfortunately for the Black Cat, his chances were not looking good, and getting caught was not an option.

His oath from ten years ago nagged at him as he drove his Superbike 1199 Panigale R a hundred miles an hour down the winding mountain road famous for drifting in the dark of night.

The bullets chasing him were not helping his case either.

Reflexively, Natsume leaned his body to the left, a split second before a bullet swished past his right ear.

So close.

He gritted his teeth. How did a simple trip to the mountain, checking on a lead, resulted to him getting chased by a group from the Anti-Alice Organization? Their mission just got even more complicated—as if it wasn't complicated enough.

His last mission. This was supposed to be his last mission. The promise of freedom was just around the corner, and then this?

"You've got a total of three on your tail, H," he heard the rattled voice of his partner Lee from his earpiece. "We're on our way. We'll meet you down at the Marina. Can you hold that long?"

"Hard to say," he admitted. The curves and swerves—plus the speed he was going—made it hard for him to conjure a fire and aim. Even if he could, the wind could kill it before it can do enough damage. "I still have about five to six curves ahead of me. Let's just hope they run out of ammo soon."

Lee muttered a curse, which Natsume would like to second.

Yes, the Black Cat maybe strong and considered dangerous, but he didn't have nine lives. A bullet could very well kill him—if a tumble in the dangerous highway won't.

Just as he finished that thought, he felt a sting on his left side, below his ribcage. He faltered for a second, but was able to gain back control almost in an instant. His grip tightened on the wheel of his bike.

No, this can't be. This can't be the end of him.

He chanced a look on his side mirror. It's worth a try. He tried once, but his leading pursuer was able to avoid the fire he threw their way by swerving to the opposite side.

"Damn it," he hissed.

"Stay with us, H," Lee urged. "Just a few more curves. We're also almost there."

Natsume looked at the dark road ahead of him through his helmet's visor. He had a short stretch of manageable road coming before the next curve. He looked at his side mirror once again and chanced another aim.

This time, he saw the hood of the first car burst to flames, and the driver lost control, probably out of surprise and panic. He hoped that out-of-control car would bring its two friends with it, but they coped fast enough.

Now, a new set of bullets were after him.

Another sting. Upper right arm.

How could he keep this up?

A warm smile of a certain brunette flashed in his mind.

_Mikan_.

"Promise?" he could still hear her tear-soaked voice that last night they spent together. It crushed his heart. It pained him, more than the gunshot wounds he was harboring during the chase. He never wanted to be the reason for her tears, especially ones of pain and heartache.

"I promise, Mikan," he whispered to her that night. "I'll come back to you, no matter what."

And Natsume had never made a promise he couldn't keep. He didn't want to start now.

Not now, when freedom from the Academy was within his reach. Not now, when he has started considering how his life would be outside its walls after a decade of risking his life and acting like he got nothing to lose.

Because now, he got a better future he can look forward to. He got someone whom he can spend that future with. He got Mikan—his warmth and happiness. He's not about to fail her now.

Natsume flinched. Another shot to his torso.

"H, what's wrong?" he heard Lee's voice over the earpiece again. "Are you okay?"

He supposed his gasp from the sudden pain carried to the other end of the line. "Hold on, buddy. Almost there."

He blinked twice when his vision started to blur. He must be losing a lot of blood.

_Just a few more minutes._

From afar, Natsume saw lights lining up the bay area. The Marina. One more curve down the treacherous mountain.

Two sedans were still hot on his tail.

"Damn!"

_That can't be good_, Natsume thought.

"Damn, festival! Damn these people!" he heard Lee's continued string of curses. "H, we've got road block. We'll turn around and find another way. Hang in there, H."

That he will. He had to—for Mikan.

The last curve was coming. He could see it, despite his vision blurring once again. He glanced at his side mirror. In his state, he probably won't be able to aim accurately. But he could create a distraction—enough for him to escape.

Determination in tow, he picked up speed, instead of slowing down, for the last and the most dangerous curve in the mountain. As he turned, his knee almost scraping the dirty concrete, Natsume released a huge fire behind him catching his pursuers by surprise. The fire was like a sudden explosion spreading from one side of the road to the other. He heard wheels screeching and a crash. Then, another explosion.

No time to relax now. He needed to get to the Marina and meet with Lee and Yojiro.

"Lee," he called to his partner. "I'm almost at the Marina."

"Us, too. ETA, five minutes."

Natsume could now see. If he got past the intersection, he should be safe. He still couldn't relax just yet though. He wasn't sure if both cars crashed. He only heard one explosion. The other car may still be well behind him.

"What did you say, Sagara?" Lee spoke to the youngest in the team, panic in his tone. He could faintly hear Yojiro from the background, but his words were all garbled. "H, two new cars coming at you. From where exactly, boy?"

He saw it, the headlights, before he heard Lee's frantic yell, "Intersection!"

It was too late. Though Natsume was able to swerve away from the cars, he lost control of his bike. He jumped before it completely crashed and threw him away.

He coughed blood after landing on the pavement near the bay. It's still a few meters from the Marina itself. He rolled to his side before sitting up.

"H, what happened? Damn it, did you just crash?"

Natsume removed his helmet and continued coughing. He wiped the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand.

_Damn, indeed._ Everything hurt. His vision blurred. To top it off, he heard screeching wheels of not just two, but three sedans, stopping to surround him.

Natsume walked—crawled would have been the more accurate term—to the edge of the lot, as close to the water as he could get. With his teeth clenched, he pulled himself to stand upright.

"H, answer me!"

"Lee—," he spat the blood pooling in his mouth, before continuing. "It's been a good ten years."

"What the hell are you saying? Don't talk crazy. We're here! Hang on, H. Don't do anything stupid!"

A corner of his lips raised of its own volition. He already did. Agreeing to this last mission was stupid.

He looked at the three cars, with their headlights beaming at him in full blast. He felt like a criminal cornered after a long road chase. Only, he's not the criminal. It's the men pointing their guns at him, ready to fire at any sudden movement from him.

He was drained. He could feel it. His Alice energy was just about empty. The odds were against him. Since escape was no longer possible, and getting caught was still not an option, it left him with only one choice.

"Lee," he muttered, unmoving, so that the trigger-happy men wouldn't suddenly shower him with bullets, ending his life before he can even say his piece. "Tell her I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not telling her nothing! Do you understand?"

_I'm sorry, Mikan._

"Don't get caught," Persona reminded him again of his oath before he left for this mission three days ago. "Don't get caught alive."

He won't.

Natsume closed his eyes, and with a smirk mumbled, "I won't even let them catch me when I'm dead."

He took a deep breath and emptied his mind.

"H, no!" he heard Lee yelled as he opened his eyes, swallowing the three cars in flames and explosion at the same time.

He dropped to his knees, feeling all his strength and energy depleted from the Alice he released. If blood lost will not finish him, that last release certainly would. As he thought it, he felt his eyes drooping. But instead of giving in to the sweet sensation of surrender, he dragged himself to the edge of the boardwalk while his pursuers were distracted. Leaning back, he let gravity take over, plunging him head first into the dark water. He allowed himself to sink deeper before pushing forward with both hands and feet. His lungs burned, but he couldn't tell if he has gotten far enough that he could risk surfacing again.

As he continued to push forward, he felt his consciousness slipping. He couldn't see anything in the water to begin with. He just blindly trekked the unknown and hoped to heavens above he survived. But it seems no one was listening.

From a distance, he saw a glowing light. He pushed harder towards it, until it was just inches from his grasp.

Was he going to heaven after all?

With one final stroke, he closed his fist around it, and felt nothing else.

Forty-eight hours later, the Black Cat was officially declared dead.


	2. Chapter 2: Say Goodnight, not Goodbye

**Winter Song**

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_**Author's Notes: **By the way, like with my previous story, this was based more from the Anime _Alice Academy_, rather than the manga. I have only recently read the manga, and although I enjoyed it very much, it was too late for me to alter parts of this story to keep it in line more or less with the original story. I've had this in my head even while I was writing "Ready to fall", and the first few chapters have been written a few years ago, so I just stuck with MY original idea for this story. It is FAN FICTION, after all. Enjoy reading. Cheers!_

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.

**2| _Say Goodnight, not Goodbye_**

_._

_Three days ago…_

It's happening.

Mikan could not believe it's really happening. In just a few weeks time, they would be graduating and would be leaving the Academy that has been their home for about ten years—for some, even more.

With that, she suddenly felt a pull of anxiety. She had not left the confines of the Academy since she pounded its gates, demanding to allow her to see her bestfriend Hotaru, almost a decade ago. Well, except maybe that one time when she and Sumire tried to save Natsume from the Anti-Alice Organization, which, in turn, getting them kidnapped as well. Natsume even had to use himself as bait just so they could escape. It was also around that time when things between Natsume and her started to change.

The gentle squeeze to her hand brought her back to the present.

She and her friends had just finished the last of their exams ever as Alice Academy Students. They were now on their way to Central Town to celebrate.

She felt another squeeze when she did not budge. She looked up and saw a pair of concerned red orbs watching her. She put on one of her sweetest smiles to assure the owner of those eyes that she was alright—everything was alright.

_Everything was alright indeed_, Mikan thought as the concern turned into relief.

Who would have thought, in a long shot, that she would be with Natsume Hyuuga—the Black Cat, who has been feared and considered dangerous? They even said he was a loner—preferred to keep to himself. They would have never expected him to walk hand-in-hand with a girl, and hang-out with a big group of friends to Central Town.

In those ten years, a lot has changed from the Black Cat. Sure, he was still feared and dangerous, but less... cold.

Random students would still hesitate to approach him, to cross him. He still exuded that intimidating aura—that serious, stoic face. That same face, however, only—or at least, mostly—bore affection when it came to her. This made her giggle secretly, if only people knew how much of a softie the Black Cat really was, they'll probably crack a laugh until it was their kids' turn to enter the Academy.

"You seem amused," he said softly, leaning down her ear so only she would hear his comment.

"I'm just happy," she whispered back.

He chuckled, "You're always happy."

"Because I am."

That was true. After that storm in their relationship four years ago, when they were just figuring out their feelings for each other, things had been smooth for the both of them since. It seemed they really had their happy ending.

Yes, they still argued. They fought a lot, leaving their friends scratching their heads—wondering what could have gone wrong again. But they knew, just as much as Mikan and Natsume knew, that all those arguments were superficial. They would still sit next to each other at meal time. They would still walk hand-in-hand. And they would still hang-out together, either in Mikan's room, at Natsume's, or under the Sakura Tree—_their_ Tree.

The only time Mikan became uneasy was whenever he had to leave in the middle of the night and not come to class for a couple of days or more.

The worst so far was during that one time, less than a year ago, when she was called to the hospital. He was practically in a coma for two full days. Fatigue, the doctor had said, but she knew the real reason...

She shook her head. She will not think about those now. In fact, she did not have to think about those anymore, because they were graduating—and in a few weeks time, Natsume will be free from his missions—free from Persona.

"We are so getting drunk tonight," Yome, the blond mind-reader, announced, which earned him a collective groan from the girls, but the boys laughed in agreement.

"No doubt, you'll be the first to do so," Natsume commented, making everyone—even the girls—laugh.

Yome could only scratch his head knowing that was probably true, which made the laughter even louder.

Natsume leaned closer to Mikan again and whispered, "No alcohol for you. Who knows what you'll blabber about when you get drunk?"

Mikan shoved him away, and stuck her tongue out. He only laughed in response, and reached to hold her hand again.

The gesture never cease to amaze her even after four years. It was just another thing one would never expect of him to do, yet it seemed so natural now. She sometimes even thought he wasn't actually aware that he was always seeking her hand when they were together.

It was as if he was always reassuring himself that she was still there, and never going anywhere.

That same hold, however, suddenly tensed amidst the laughter and the continuous conversation of their group.

Mikan automatically glanced at him. She had that uneasy feeling again when his expression turned into the Black Cat that people feared. He was looking a little to their left, somewhere behind the trees.

Mikan also turned her gaze there and tried to focus on the figure hidden in the shadows.

Yojiro Sagara.

Her heart slammed in her chest.

_No, it can't be, _Mikan cried mentally. _This is not happening!_

She tightened her hold on Natsume's hand, afraid that he would let go and leave—even though she knew those weren't just fears. He would let go.

"Natsume," she managed to say, despite the lump building in her throat.

He turned to her, stepping in front of her, as if trying to block her view of the boy waiting behind the trees.

Too late, she already saw—and she dreaded what it meant.

"You, guys, go ahead," he told her quietly. Mikan knew he was hoping their friends haven't noticed the tension in the air brought by the unwanted visitor. "I'll catch up with you at Stinkey's."

And Mikan knew she wouldn't be able to sit still, while waiting for him, in their favorite pub.

"Natsume," she tugged at his hand again, pleading now.

He gave her a light peck on the forehead and said reassuringly, "It'll be fine. Go."

He silently slipped off the group, their friends not even noticing, and headed to the shadows of the trees, becoming one of the hidden figures himself.

Mikan could only watch and hope that she was just getting paranoid—that she was just overreacting, as always.

But the continuous pounding of her heart in her chest seemed to tell her otherwise.

"Where did Natsume go?" she heard Ruka ask. Obviously, the Black Cat was able to slip away so quietly, like the cat that he was.

She breathed deeply, and braced herself before facing their friends with a smile on her face, "He forgot something in the classroom. He said he'll meet us at Stinkey's."

"He was probably too excited to celebrate to not even notice he left something behind," Mochu said clearing the uneasiness that started to circulate upon her boyfriend's disappearance.

The group let out another round of laughter as they moved along.

Mikan chanced another glance to where Natsume and Yojiro disappeared to.

"Let's go, Mikan," she heard Hotaru call to her.

Her friend was studying her curiously as they followed the group.

She smiled and shook her head, gesturing to Hotaru that she was fine—everything was alright, she hoped.

.

.

Stinkey's was probably the only Westernized pub in Central Town, and one of the few that hardly used Alice in their operation. It opened just a couple of years ago, and quickly became a favorite hang-out for students old enough to drink. They like it because the atmosphere was homey and casual. Plus, they offer different games and entertainment, like pinball, darts and pool. There's even a classic jukebox in a corner, away from the pinball machines.

At Stinkey's, Natsume's prediction came true, and Yome was indeed the first to get drunk. After three rounds, he was starting to sway and slur his speech. Nonoko could only shove food in his mouth to stop him from blabbering people's thoughts carelessly.

"You'd think, by now, we should already know how dangerous it is to let Yome drink," Ruka said as he watched the poor Nonoko tend to her drunk boyfriend.

"I guess we kinda like to live on the edge," Iinchou replied.

They stared at each other for a full-second, and then burst out laughing. They even clunk their bottles before having another swig at their drinks.

"Did you, guys, just start the party without me?" Sumire announced with fake annoyance as she joined the group at their table.

"Well, where have you been?" Anna retorted, still with the trace of that sweet soft voice she always had.

"Sorry, guys," Tetsuya apologized in behalf of Sumire as he sat next to her. "We got—ah—held up."

It was not a surprise to see Tetsuya Kimura attending their group gatherings despite his history with Mikan and Natsume five years ago. After Mikan finally chose Natsume over him, the atmosphere between the two guys changed from hostile to almost friendly. In fact, even if he already graduated a few years ago, he still came back occasionally to join their gatherings like tonight. Plus, he and Sumire have become intriguingly close lately.

"Tetsuya," Mochu extended a bottle to the red-head barely avoiding hitting Sumire's nose with his elbows, which he apologized for after earning a glare from the Cat-Dog Alice girl. "Glad you can make it. How's life outside the Academy? Keeping it warm for us, before we get out there ourselves?"

Tetsuya only laughed at his ramblings, and then gestured with his bottle before taking a swig.

The red-head roamed his gaze around the group, doing a mental roll call.

"Where's Natsume?" he asked realizing who was missing.

Mikan's hold on her glass of iced tea tightened. She was just about to go crazy thinking when would he be back.

"He forgoch shumching," Yome said, then laughed as if that was the most hilarious thing ever.

"Oh, for goodness sakes, Koko," Nonoko, finally giving up, letting the Mind-Reader drop on the seat with a thud when she pulled him hard, so he'd stay still.

Tetsuya stifled a laugh, unsure if it would hurt Nonoko's feelings if he cracked at their situation.

"So where is Natsume?" he asked again, obviously not understanding what Yome had just said before.

"Mikan said he forgot something in the classroom," Iinchou answered, explaining what Yome meant. "He's supposed to just meet us here."

"Speaking of which," Ruka started. "What's taking him so long? Did you happen to know, Mikan?"

Mikan, however, was not paying attention at that moment. She has been too intent on her untouched drink, in front of her. Her distraction caused her friends to be concerned.

"Mikan?" Hotaru, who was sitting beside her, gently elbowed her, hoping to get her attention.

"What?" she asked surprised, and grew red when she realized all eyes were on her.

"Is there something wrong?" apprehension wrapped Ruka's inquiry.

"No," she answered too quickly and too energetically. "Nothing's wrong. Everything is fine."

Mikan wanted to knock herself on the head. She had been saying that since they left for Central Town, yet she knew everything was _not_ fine.

"So who's got my drink?"

All heads, especially Mikan's, suddenly turned to the owner of that voice.

"What took you so long?" Ruka berated, obviously concerned.

"Geesh, mom," Natsume replied teasingly as he walked towards the empty seat next to his girlfriend. "I'm here, okay? You don't have to ground me."

"Natsume!" Yome suddenly called loudly. "We're drunk!"

They all laughed, except for Mikan, who was still secretly fidgeting.

"No, Yome," Natsume replied chuckling. "_You're_ drunk, as I predicted."

That earned more laughter, and the conversation flowed again amongst the group.

Natsume turned his attention to his worried girlfriend the moment their friends' focus shifted away from him.

"Where have you been?" she whispered her attempt at scolding.

Mikan thought she saw his expression turned gloom for a split second, before giving her a reassuring smile.

"I'm here now," he reached for both of her hands and squeezed. "That's what's important."

"But what do they want?" she insisted.

Natsume glanced up at their friends, checking if anyone heard her interrogation. Convinced that everyone else were too preoccupied to have heard, he relaxed once again.

Although, he leaned closer to her before speaking, just in case, "Later, okay?"

"Do you, guys, want to get a room?" Mochu teased, shifting everyone's attention back to them—with the boys chuckling, and the girls, except for Hotaru, blushing.

Mikan stuck out her tongue at Mochu to hide her red cheeks. The guy only snorted and laughed.

"I still don't have my drink, Mochu," Natsume said diverting the attention away from the beet-red Mikan.

"Well, have a bottle then, my friend," said Mochu, handing him a newly opened bottle of ice-cold beer.

.

.

"Is it '_later_' yet?" she asked him when they got to her room after their group decided to call it a night, and she has finished preparing herself for bed.

This moment had to be "_later_".

She had waited long enough—drove herself crazy enough—wondering what Yojiro and, surely, Persona wanted.

She did not really know Yojiro Sagara, other than he was a transferee from the Shanghai Branch. The faculty figured, since he was Japanese, it made more sense if he was at the Tokyo Branch.

Mikan doubted that was the real reason. The moment Yojiro stepped foot in the Academy, Persona took him under his wing, even sending him to call Natsume for mission briefings. This was why Mikan always felt uncomfortable when he was around, because that could only mean that Natsume had to leave again, and she had to worry for his safety yet again.

Yojiro reminded everyone of the old Natsume—distant, aloof and dangerous. Being four years younger, he, no doubt, was Persona's new Natsume. They called him the Night Shadow. Why, exactly? No one knew—and Natsume wouldn't say. She just heard that he was untraceable when he works, and moves like a shadow in the night.

He, however, was the least of her worries for now.

Surely, Natsume was again called for something, and that something was definitely not to congratulate him from finally graduating from the Academy. If anything, Persona would most possibly be reluctant to let him go.

That thought made her shudder.

Natsume, who was already in his usual spot on her bed with his back leaning on the headboard, tapped the space beside him.

Mikan obliged. Bracing herself as she scooted closer to him.

He automatically wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to his warm embrace.

She felt his chest heaved a sigh against her cheek, before he spoke.

"Is that why you've been fidgeting all night?"

She pouted. She would never get a straight answer from him where this topic was concerned.

Almost every night, Natsume would go to Mikan's room, would hold her close—like tonight—serving as her warm blanket until she fell asleep. She would mostly be talking a lot, and asking him questions before she would finally doze off.

Tonight, however, Mikan considered her words carefully. She wanted to bombard him with questions, but knew that only a few—or maybe even less—would be answered.

She had faced that terrible feeling before, of trying to sleep in his arms knowing that he wouldn't be there in the morning and wouldn't show up the whole day at all after that.

But the fear she was feeling now was somehow far greater. She guessed, because she had her hopes too high that he would never have to endanger himself again.

"Natsume," she began, but he cut her off.

"You know, I didn't expect Kimura to be there tonight," he tried to sound as if he was in wonder. "I guess things between him and Permy are getting more serious now."

Mikan cringed. Natsume could just never pull off the I-actually-care-about-other-people's-love-life tone.

She shifted so she could look at him. She tried hard to hold the laughter bubbling in her throat when she saw him trying to match his fake interest with a fake expression on his face.

"Stop it, Natsume," she attempted to sound annoyed.

He gave her a smile, knowing his statement made her laugh. They stared at each other for a long while, with his eyes roaming around her face. Then, she saw, the amusement in his eyes turned into something else. The flames of his red orbs seemed to flicker, but not with rage. Mikan did not really have a name for it, but she could recognize that look whenever she saw it from him—and also, since it seemed only meant for her. She felt heat rose up to her cheeks, and she hoped that the semi-darkness of her room disguised it.

"You know," he said in that deep husky voice that always partnered that unnamed intent stare, making the hair at Mikan's nape stand. "Tonight's the first night after a long time when you don't have to sleep with your books under your pillow."

She sighed. He was still avoiding her questions. "So?"

He ran his right hand up and down her back, each stroke leaving a trace of warmth against her skin from under her shirt.

"You have no exams to worry about tomorrow."

Mikan raised a brow, unsure where he was going with this.

"No classes," he leaned his head closer, kissing the top of her head.

She, in turn, closed her eyes instinctively.

"No reason to wake up early."

"Hmm…"

She felt his lips curved into another smile as he kissed her temples.

Mikan tried to think what she was going to say, but completely blanked when his left hand started to caress her cheeks and then held her face up, as the hand on her back gently pushed her towards him.

She opened her eyes, and was about to say something—but couldn't remember what—when Natsume sealed her lips with his.

Mikan felt her body melting—together with her brain. Her eyes drooped close once again. She hardly even noticed when he shifted and trapped her between the bed and his body.

With his lips pressed on hers—warm and soft but firm—her arms circled around his neck, her fingers toying with the ends of his unkempt raven hair at his nape. His right arm supported his weight, as his left hand ran along her arm, her shoulder, along the side of her back and down to her hip. Each touch seemed to bring a new level of heat in her.

Her eyes shot open, when she felt his left hand lifted her shirt a little and his palm made contact with the skin along her waist.

"Natsume," she managed to mumble, breathless, when his lips left hers to shower the side of her face and her neck with feathery kisses.

"Hmm?"

Her heart hammered in her chest wildly when she felt Natsume's hand smoothly eased up her sides, up her ribs and down her stomach, where her insides seemed to be forming into a tight knot. Her right leg instinctively curled and brushed along his thigh, which earned her a contented groan from the Black Cat.

She was not naive—not anymore. Though the sensation and the feeling all seemed new to her—in a good way—she knew where this could lead. And she wanted to allow it. But no matter how Mikan wanted to give in to the moment, her fear kept her hold of her control—of what was left of it anyway.

How good it must be to just let go, and forget tomorrow—forget the fact that she might wake up without him by her side.

"You're leaving me, aren't you?"

He froze, his hand on her waist again and his lips on her collarbone.

Mikan felt the hot liquid forming in her eyes, while Natsume stayed still. Gently, his body relaxed and slowly dropped his weight on top of her.

He buried his face in her hair at the side of her neck. She could feel his warm breath as he finally answered—whispered, "I'm not leaving you, Mikan."

She turned her head away from him so he wouldn't feel the tear that escaped her eyes, "But you're going."

It wasn't a question. She already knew she was right when he didn't elaborate on his previous answer.

"Don't," she pleaded, turning her head back to him when he didn't say anything.

Natsume crossed his arms underneath her, embracing her tightly. She tightened her arms around his neck as well, in response.

"Mikan," he started to say.

Tears started flowing freely now, knowing exactly what his tone meant.

"Don't go," she pleaded.

He pressed his lips below her jaw line as he held her even tighter.

She could hardly breathe but she didn't mind, if it meant she can stop him from leaving.

"I have to," she thought she heard glasses breaking, but then again, that may have been her heart shattering to pieces upon his confirmation that he was indeed leaving.

He lifted his head and loosened his hold on her a little. She saw the helplessness in his eyes when he looked at her tear-stained face.

"But I'll be back,"

She held his face, and gently caressed his cheeks. While continuously holding his stare, she ran her hands through his raven hair from the side of his head, down to his jaw, even slightly touching the red stud on his right earlobe—her anniversary gift to him just a few days ago. She was trying to memorize that handsome face… as if she won't see him again.

That possibility brought more tears in her eyes.

"Mikan,"

"Why can't you say 'no'?" she asked still fighting to keep him here, with her—safe. "Just this once, say 'no'."

To her surprise, he shook his head, "Not this time."

"I don't understand," she cried.

"I would've said 'no' before—to my other missions," he tried to explain. "But not this one. This time, I really have to do it. It's too important."

"What could be so important?"

Natsume sighed, released her—to which Mikan already ached at the absence of his warmth—and lie next to her.

He stared at the ceiling, "I wish I can tell you, but it's better—safer—you didn't know."

That has always been his answer, that she will be safer if she knew nothing. How was she supposed to handle that? It was enough to handle that all those years, knowing that a higher authority sent him. But now, it was like he was saying it was his choice to go. Was it?

Mikan sobbed at that thought.

Natsume instantly moved and bundled her to him, cradling her.

"Shh," he was stroking her long wavy hair, keeping her head close to his chest—his heart. "I'll come back, Mikan. I'll come back to you."

"Promise?"

Natsume swallowed, "Promise."

.

.

Mikan finally fell asleep. She must have gotten too tired from crying.

It broke Natsume's heart to see her hurt like that. He wanted to just stay here and keep her in his embrace.

He was tempted to go back to bed next to her whenever she reached for the space he vacated—reached for him—but she was too deep in slumber to wake up from his absence.

If only this mission was like his any other missions, he would have declined. He would have set his foot down and told Persona to go to hell. But it wasn't just Persona who asked him. This time, it mattered more, because someone who cared and who was an important part of his life—no matter how he would never bluntly admit it—had asked him to do this. It was too important that it did not only concern the Academy, but, possibly, the whole Alice Community.

So Natsume leaned close to Mikan one last time. The love of his life—his warmth.

"I promise, Mikan," he whispered to her ear. "I'll come back to you. No matter what."

Mikan stirred, and, for a moment, he thought she woke up, especially when she spoke.

"I love you, Natsume."

Natsume felt the invisible hand crushing his heart, but he withstood it.

"I love you, too, Mikan."

He planted a soft kiss on her lips before heading for the window—he couldn't risk the Dorm Mother seeing him leave her room this late at night. He took one last longing look at her before he jumped, disappearing in the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3: Let the Flames Begin

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**3| _Let the Flames Begin_**

.

The Dark Angel, that's what it's called.

Opposite the hall leading to the laboratories at the South Wing of the Hospital Building, the stone angel stood almost as high as the ceiling.

It's the only thing that can be found in the whole ten-meter-length of the hallway.

Its gender was indistinguishable. Half of its face, from the nose up, was hidden with a mask. Its wings folded but alert. It held a sword, shaped like a thunderbolt, on its side. Its hands, ears, neck and arms were adorned—almost fully covered—with various jewelry.

Many have wondered what that angel symbolized, but very few bothered to really find out. There was once a speculation that it wasn't an angel at all. It was an Alice, and all the jewelry it wore were controlling devices. However, quite a few retorted that if that was true, the angel's Alice had to be very strong—immensely powerful—to even need that many controlling devices.

Despite the unresolved issue, the interest of students, and faculty alike, with the angel statue didn't linger long enough. It was probably because not all people see it every day. Unless they were part of the lab staff, they wouldn't even see it at all—and a lot of times, even the lab staff themselves never really took interest as it was placed at the very end, opposite to where they worked.

They easily dismissed it as an artwork the Academy acquired, but didn't really have a place for, so instead they just dumped it there and had forgotten about it.

What the ninety-eight percent of the Academy population didn't know, however, was that The Dark Angel wasn't placed there randomly. Only two percent of the population knew that it actually had a narrow path hidden behind its wings. They were the only ones aware that the whole ten-meters of hallway had surveillance cameras installed, with no blind spots. And only they ever had the purpose to walk the hall, slip behind the stone angel and tread the narrow path, which led to an elevator door that can only be accessed with a biometric scanner.

Natsume Hyuuga belonged to the two percent, for it was the entrance to the Dangerous Alice Facility four floors down that the stone angel kept hidden behind its wings.

The Black Cat placed his right hand flat on the scanner, and waited for the screen to flash "Access Granted". The elevator doors, then, opened and he stepped inside.

There were four buttons. N1, or Negative One, was where the "classrooms" were at. It's the only level that can be freely accessed by anyone from the Dangerous Ability Class and some authorized faculty members. N2, or Negative Two, had the gym and the training room. Aside from the authorized faculty members, only students, who were old enough to start learning martial arts, have granted access. Youchi, the Ghost Manipulator who was now thirteen years old, actually received his access grant to this floor when he entered Elementary Class B, about two years ago.

The last two floors, N3 and N4, were strictly for those who were already given missions outside the Academy. N3 served as the control room, conference room, and offices. N4 on the other hand has the storage room and the garage. It also had a tunnel leading to the outside, a few kilometers away from the Academy grounds.

Natsume had access to all of them ever since he was recruited by Persona, around ten years ago.

He pressed the N4 button. It only took twenty seconds before the elevator door once again opened, and Natsume walked in a well-lit spacious hallway.

In contrast to the classic appearance of the Academy, the Dangerous Alice Facility was very modern and quite high-tech. It seemed to be more like a CIA or MI-6 Headquarters, rather than an extension of the Hospital Building or even a part of the Academy.

Surveillance cameras followed his every movement, until he reached the glass door leading to the garage that is equally bright and looked more like a jet hangar with its space and high ceilings.

Three figures huddled in the station right before where the line-up of automobile started. All three heads turned to him when they heard his approach.

"Glad you could join us," Persona said, standing in between the other two. He appeared to be showing them a map of Japan on the table interactive screen, with two red markings, and a map of the world with the same markings spread on different locations. The same maps were reflected on the wide screen behind them as well.

"Hey, Natsume," Yojiro, who was in Persona's left greeted.

When Natsume reached the table, however, the first person he acknowledged was the one standing across him from the other end, the man on Persona's right.

"Lee," he gestured with his head.

The guy responded with the same gesture to him, "H."

"I almost thought that maybe you've changed your mind," Persona spoke unaffected by the Black Cat's lack of courtesy to him.

Natsume only smirked, "Let's just do this."

Persona heard the certainty in his voice, and knew that he was indeed not going to change his mind.

.

.

"Everything alright, H?" Lee asked the guy seating in the passenger seat, eyes closed but obviously awake. He has been awfully quiet ever since they left the Academy an hour ago.

Lee maneuvered their van effortlessly, despite the darkness and the swerves, as they headed to Miyagi prefecture, which was still almost a half-day-drive away.

For almost ten years, he had accompanied the Black Cat in Missions. Though they never see each other outside the DA Facility, he considered the guy a comrade, and a partner.

He didn't really join the action. He was the computer guy and the car guy—that was it, and sometimes, the First Aid guy. The tough muscle had always been the Black Cat—even when he was still barely a pre-adolescent.

He remembered the first time Persona introduced the boy to him, he was sure the kid was going to start crying the moment he came face to face with an enemy. But he was wrong.

They encountered members of Anti-Alice Organization during his very first mission. One stupid guy pointed a gun to his face, probably thinking the boy would pee his pants. But H only stared at the fool with those burning red eyes, and flames burst from the guy's feet causing him to step backwards and jump around trying to put out the fire. The whole time H didn't even flinch—not once.

From then on, he never looked at him as just a boy—just a kid. In fact, he was never a kid.

Despite their fifteen-year difference, sometimes—if not most of the time—he even thought and acted like he was older than Lee. Although, that was probably because Lee had a very easy-going and playful personality, which he blamed on his European blood, the Everly's—his mother's side of the family.

"Did you even get a snooze before we left?" concern was evident in his voice, but the Black Cat still didn't answer.

"Probably not," Yojiro, who was sitting at the back with the surveillance equipments and H's bike, replied for him instead. "Since he even went to celebrate with his friends in Central Town, and possibly spent a night in his girlfriend's room."

H opened his eyes then, and Lee knew he didn't like the boy's initiative.

"Shut up, Sagara," he snapped at the boy, before the Black Cat could. "Didn't your parents teach you not to butt in when the adults are talking?"

Yojiro only smirked and mumbled, "I have no parents."

Lee bit back an apology. It didn't sound like the boy needed it. He guessed most of the students—especially those in the Dangerous Ability Class—didn't really have parents growing up.

With a shrug of his shoulders, he changed the subject, "How's my girl doing, by the way?"

He had never really officially met Natsume's girlfriend, and doubted if the girl even knew he existed. He has only seen her from afar. But he was so grateful for Mikan Sakura.

Ever since H got in a relationship with her, his aura changed. Maybe it did even a little before that.

He seemed more... normal, like the teenager that he was. He was still cold and dangerous, especially during a fight, but Lee could tell that the girl brought some warmth in his eyes. And he believed that H deserved that—a little of normal life.

Lee felt the guy shifting ever so slightly from his seat upon the mention of his girlfriend.

"She didn't take it well, huh?" he inferred from his reaction.

H shook his head in reply.

"Were there tears?"

"Cried herself to sleep."

"I don't get girls," Yojiro complained, which earned him a snort from Lee.

"Indeed," he agreed, smiling to the boy from the rear view mirror. "With an attitude like that, you just might never will."

"Hmph," Yojiro crossed his arms over his chest and decided to just ignore them—to Lee's relief.

He heard H stifle a laugh, which made him feel better deducing his partner will be just fine.

"You'll get back to your girl soon."

"Never soon enough."

"Never is," Lee agreed understanding how H felt. It never was indeed.

.

.

The sun was shining brightly, high in the sky, when they finally reached their destination. Sendai.

The town was teeming with people, locals and tourists alike. Natsume and his team were aware of the music festival happening in two days. They have already anticipated the crowd—it didn't mean it made their work any easier though.

Musicians, enthusiasts and travellers flew from all over the world to assemble in these types of events, especially here in Japan, to celebrate indigenous music from different cultures. This year, it was estimated that there were a few thousand tourists converging in Sendai for this festival. A really good outlook for the town, but, sadly, not for the Black Cat and his team.

_It would be like finding a needle in a haystack_, he thought considerably as he observed the traffic of people from their hotel's veranda.

"Guess, the projection is highly probable," he heard Lee commented from inside the suite, while setting-up their make-shift control room and temporary headquarters.

Natsume agreed. The three of the marked occurrences in their world map happened during festivals like the one happening in a couple of days. Love Parade in Berlin, Oktoberfest in Germany, and the latest one, Mardi Gras in New Orleans. All with thousands of people as potential witnesses, which equated to no witnesses at all. The analysts in the Academy deduced that what—or better yet, who—they were looking for either loved the festivities and loved travelling, or was on the run and was always hoping to get lost in the crowd—or lose his, or her, pursuers in it.

Yes, as if finding the subject in what seemed to be a big chunk of the world's population wasn't enough, they also didn't know for certain whether it was a man or a woman they were seeking. They just knew the subject could be very dangerous, in so many ways.

"Okay, we're set," Lee announced, clapping his hands together as if thrilled to get started. "I'm online."

Natsume turned his back from the crowd below and stepped in to the living room-turned-control room. He quickly surveyed the man's work, and found everything in order, as expected always of him. They've been to too many missions together that Natsume never had to question whether Lee was up to a job. Except hand-to-hand combat, he could always count on him to have his back.

There were times actually when Natsume thought of Lee as an older version of his bestfriend Ruka. Aside from the blond hair and fair complexion, the way the guy fuss about Natsume's well-being sometimes was very reminiscent of his friend back in the Academy.

"Copy that, Sagara," He found Lee, with his Bluetooth commset propped in his ear, sitting in the small dining area their hotel suite provided. He was surrounded by three LED monitors all angled towards him. In front of the middle monitor was a keyboard, which was currently making excited tapping sounds as Lee typed away. "All feeds are looking good so far. Finish up the last of the perimeter and come right back."

Natsume walked towards the makeshift workstation. The other half of the table, not occupied by Lee's equipment, served as the mantelpiece for the weapons and gadgets they would need for this mission.

"Sagara's almost done securing the perimeter," Natsume just nodded, contented with their prep work, and turned his attention to the wall parallel to the dining table.

Earlier, they removed the oil painting hanging on it and replaced it with the map of the world, with the map of Japan right next to it. Natsume stared at the red markings on both maps that were reflective of the ones Persona showed them in the DA facility during their mission briefing and before they left for Sendai. Each marking has a small note with dates written on them, and three of the notes even have the festivals added in parenthesis. Each mark also represented the date and place the satellite had detected unusual Alice energy and signatures.

The subject has definitely been around—most likely on the run. Natsume tried to imagine what it must be like, to be always on the run. About a decade ago, that could have been him—or sort of like him. God knew he had tried so many times to escape the Academy. If he had managed to escape, surely the Academy will not stop looking for him. When he was younger, he did think that they would eventually give up. But now that he knew better, he was sure that they would have followed him to the ends of the world if they had to. That was how important—or how desperate they were to have the Black Cat at their service.

He didn't like this life, of being held against his will, forcing him like a prisoner and like a slave answering to their beck and call. His life in the Academy was only tolerable because he found someone who made his life in there meaningful. With her, he wasn't just the Black Cat. To her, he was Natsume Hyuuga—just the normal boy behind the mask.

And soon, he would be _just_ Natsume. After this mission, he wouldn't have to be the Black Cat anymore. He could live his life away from the Academy, and start a new one with Mikan.

Natsume felt a pang of guilt and pain in his chest, remembering how he left Mikan last night, crying until exhaustion took over. It renewed his determination to finish this mission as quickly as possible so he could come back to her—to her warmth.

"Sagara's on his way back," Lee announced, pulling him from his reverie. He was now standing next to him fumbling with a small tablet computer he picked up from the array of gadgets on the table.

"Here," he handed the tablet to Natsume, and picked up a smaller gadget that looked like a mobile phone.

Natsume looked at the tablet in his hand. It was small and sleek, about seven inches in dimension, which could easily fit in the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

"The feed from the tracer should also display on that remotely," Lee explained while he fumbled with the portable tracer.

Natsume tapped the screen and it came to life, displaying a satellite map of Sendai overlaid with something similar to a radar feed. He put his thumb and forefinger together lightly on the screen, then dragged them apart to enlarge the view. With a light swipe of the pad of his middle finger, he panned the map around the screen.

"Okay, I've activated the tracer." Lee announced with obvious delight in his voice. The guy was definitely in his element. Nothing excited him more than being surrounded by his favorite toys, and showing them off. "Now, to test it."

The Black Cat raised an eyebrow when the older guy pointedly looked at him.

"Come on, H," Lee urged playfully. "You don't have to burn the hotel. Just a little spark will do. You're close enough to the tracer that it can detect even the slightest amount of Alice energy."

Natsume shook his head with a smirk on his lips. This has been their constant set-up—Lee will program or prepare the equipment, while Natsume will be the one to test it. It wasn't always as simple as letting out a small spark though.

"Why don't we let Yojiro do this?" he asked just for kicks. He didn't really mind such a simple task, but he enjoyed making his partner work for it.

"Sagara ain't here at the moment,"

Then, as if on cue, the boy walked in their hotel room, "Did I just hear my name?"

"Yes." Lee answered turning to him, and without preamble, demanded, "Use your Alice."

"What?"

"So we can test the tracer," he said matter-of-factly.

The boy eyed the small gadget in his hand and the tablet in Natsume's suspiciously before asking, "Why can't Natsume do it?"

"No apparent reason," Lee sighed exasperated. "Come on, you two. I just need to test the tracer if it's working. It doesn't matter who does it. Just spare me a small amount of energy."

Natsume suppressed a chuckle. He figured he had pushed Lee enough.

"Fine," he mumbled before conjuring a small fire, the size of a ping pong ball, in his palm.

A rhythmic beeping from the tablet followed a second later.

"Nice," Lee muttered in satisfaction. He took the tablet from Natsume's hand and fumbled with the map on the screen. "Okay, I see the hotel. Good. Now, put it out."

Natsume closed his fist and the fire snuffed out instantly.

"Great, see?" Lee turned the tablet towards them to show that the red light was still beeping. Both Yojiro and Natsume were not sure what that actually meant, so he continued explaining. "The place still has traces of the Alice energy, so the tracer continues to detect it. With the amount of Energy H released, it can last a couple of minutes. If the subject does the same, the resonance of the energy will give us time to follow it, in case he—or she—only releases it for a really short period of time. Now, to the weapons."

"Why are we using portable tracer again?" Yojiro intercepted before Lee could proceed. "I thought Academy satellites are powerful. What can this thing do that the satellites can't?"

A grin spread on the tech guy's face. Natsume could tell his partner expected—probably even anticipated—this question from either of them. He really liked it when people questioned his methods and his equipments, because he saw it as an opportunity to boast his superiority with technological knowledge.

_Hmm, maybe he's more like Imai rather than Ruka_, Natsume thought, secretly laughing.

"You see, boy," Yojiro mumbled a retort that sounded like "old man." Lee, however, ignored him and just proceeded with his presentation. "The satellite specializes in finding something with a wide range of distance. Yes, it can detect even the smallest amount of Alice energy released. It could even tell what type of Alice it was. But, if you're in a relatively small town, with a few thousand people and hundred potential Alices, what do you suppose will show in the satellite feed?"

Yojiro just stared blankly.

"Precisely," he exclaimed as if that was as good as an answer for him. "Nothing. You'll see this bunch of dots, but you really won't be able to tell who's who and what's what."

"And the tracer can?"

"It has a more direct approach," Lee even pointed his forefinger at him as if to emphasize a point. "The radius ain't that big, so unless you're close enough, it wouldn't announce a trace. Which means, just by looking up or looking around, you'll probably be able to spot _who_ exactly used his or her Alice. And thanks to the previous data from the satellite, we now have at least the characteristics of the Alice signature to work with."

"Assessing the validity of the trace almost instantly," the Black Cat added to which Lee nodded in affirmation.

"Thus, the cameras you had me installed around town," Yojiro concluded finally understanding. With a sigh, he slumped on the sofa adjacent to where Lee set his temporary workstation.

"Yes," Lee sat back on the chair in front of the monitors before continuing. "The cameras also serve as tracers. If a trace is detected, we'll be able to tell right away which camera set it off, and hopefully spot who caused it. Easy breezy."

It's the best option they got. There were just the three of them against the thousands currently roaming the streets of Sendai. It would be impossible for them to cover enough grounds if they'll just do it by foot alone. Again, like a needle in a haystack.

"Easy for you to say, old man" Yojiro countered using the nick name he procured for Lee when the guy started calling him "boy". "You weren't the one running around town, installing those little cameras."

"Hey, it was never mentioned that this mission will be a walk in the park," Lee shrugged, and smirked when he thought of a pun. "Although, you will have to literally walk in the park in search for this subject—the Kotodai Park in particular, where the Music Festival will take place."

Yojiro sighed in surrender. He moved to sit at the edge of the sofa, leaning his elbows on his hips and looked at Natsume. "So what's the game plan?"

At that, Lee swiveled his chair to also face the Black Cat to listen. Natsume, after all, was their team leader.


	4. Chapter 4: Needle in the Dark

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**4| _Needle in the Dark_**

_._

The festival was in twenty-four hours.

Yet, they were nowhere near to finding their subject than they were yesterday afternoon when they arrived to town.

"Anything in the south perimeter?" Natsume asked Lee through his Bluetooth commset, while he leaned on his bike, casually watching the pedestrians in the market district.

"Nothing unusual," he heard his partner answered followed by faint tapping sounds of his keyboard in the background.

It was the same yesterday when they started their reconnaissance. Lee stayed at the hotel to man the feeds from the cameras, while Yojiro and Natsume visited the most crowded places to scout on foot. Today, Yojiro was assigned to the park where the festival will be held tomorrow, while Natsume checked out the market district.

The tracer did detect a few Alices, but the signatures were not exactly the same to the ones detected by the satellites relating to their unknown subject. With the size of the crowd, this occurrence was something to be expected.

That actually also brought up the flaw to their plan, which was unless the subject used his—or her—Alice, they won't have a chance of finding him—or her.

"This is a dangerous thing we are hoping for," Lee had commented last night when they discussed this.

"Why do you say that?" he had asked. Lee did look troubled—even more than usual.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," he started to explain. "But this person we're looking for has been trying to live under the radar. He's probably aware that he can be tracked, so he will avoid using his Alice—as much as he can help it. So those markings up there," he motioned to the maps on the wall. "Were maybe his slip-ups. As if something happened that obliged him to use his Alice."

He paused, looked at his partner, and then to their newest member. "From what I gathered, this subject could be the most powerful being in the world, and we're hoping he makes a mistake—use his Alice—so we can trace him." He shook his head, and then mumbled, "Sounds pretty dangerous to me."

Natsume agreed. Lee had a point. This was a dangerous thing they're hoping for to finish this mission. The subject's Alice is dangerous—maybe even more dangerous than the Black Cat's—and more powerful.

More powerful than him.

Something about that has been bothering Natsume. It wasn't about his pride, at finding out there's someone out there who was immensely more dangerous than him. It was the shape of the subject's Alice that was not sitting well with him.

"Man, this festival is really like a big deal, isn't it?" the amusement in Yojiro's voice broke through Natsume's thoughts. "With the preparation they're doing, you'll think it's the Olympic season or something."

"What do you know about the Olympics?" Lee chuckled, unable to let an opportunity to bicker with the youngest of the team pass.

"I know more than you think I do, old man," he replied taking the bait.

"That's enough, you two," Natsume interfered letting the authoritative tone coat his voice. He knew if he won't, the two kids would start squabbling again like they always did ever since Yojiro came to the Academy. "Yojiro, focus on the mission and ignore Lee. And Lee, stop egging him on."

Both mumbled an apology.

Natsume briefly wondered what would happen with those two after he graduated. There will be no one to act as a referee when they get started with their usual arguments. He knew Lee never meant to bully the kid, but Yojiro was too defensive at times that the older man couldn't resist pushing his buttons more. Didn't he know that the best way to shut Lee up was to shut up?

"Check out Trouble in the flesh," Natsume's ears perked up automatically upon hearing two giggling voices close to where he was situated. They were actually speaking in French, so Natsume wasn't sure if he heard them correctly.

"Shh," the other girl chastised the first speaker, but not so convincingly. Obviously, he found her friend's comment quite amusing as well. "He might hear you."

"What could be the odds of him understanding French?" the first girl challenged.

Natsume's brows furrowed. Could they be talking about him?

Out of curiosity, he angled his head a little towards the two and, with the help of his dark sunglasses, observed them subtly in his peripheral.

Definitely tourists. Both girls were like Barbie-come-to-life with their height and their slim built. One girl was fair-skinned, with wavy sandy blonde hair gathered to one shoulder; while the other girl, slightly tanned, but with longer hair in reddish brown color. Her hair also flowed in waves around her shoulders with the tips almost reaching her waist.

"Hey, it's the modern world," the brunette said. "For all you know, he can actually speak seven languages fluently."

_Just five actually_, Natsume corrected silently, conceding to the very possibility that they were talking about him.

"Who cares?" the blonde shrugged. "All I'm saying is he's hot, and don't even tell me you don't agree."

Natsume felt a tinge of warmth from his neck creeping up to his jaw.

The blonde continued her tirade in fluid French, "Just look at that height, and those lean muscles underneath that leather jacket. And that hair! It has that just-out-of-bed look, making your fingers itch so much of wanting to run them through those locks."

"Lucy!"

"Oh, and if he offers me a ride in that big red bike, I'm sorry, Ave, but you'll have to find Rafe alone."

"You're incorrigible," the other girl spat, even crossing her arms under her chest. Then, after a moment of silence, the two girls burst into fits of laughter like the whole thing was one big joke.

"Fine," the second girl conceded, still clutching her hand over her stomach from laughing so hard. "I admit that he's hot."

"And you won't mind a ride in his bike,"

The brunette's tone sobered when she said, "Let's not go there."

Natsume stayed where he was like a statue. After the girls were long gone, swallowed by the rest of the crowd in the market district, he cleared his throat and fidgeted involuntarily.

He wasn't used to being ogled. Yes, a few—alright, a lot—of girls were crushing on him in the Academy for reasons he couldn't really grasp, but they never bothered him. They were really just silly and childish infatuations. He knew they'll outgrew them eventually—like in the case of Permy, who used to claim she's the president of the Natsume-Ruka fans club. Eventually, she realized that her attraction to the Black Cat was really just superficial.

But those two girls—ladies—made him uncomfortable in so many levels. Could it be an indication of how unprepared he was to be back in the outside world indefinitely?

Despite of his eagerness to graduate, he did consider sometimes whether he was mature enough to live outside the walls that protected them for over a decade.

Then, he thought of Mikan. For her, he would be. Maybe he's not hundred percent ready, but for her, and their future, he'd do his damn best—_that_ he could be certain of.

With that thought, Natsume pushed the comments of the two girls aside, and went back to people watching. He'll give the place about half an hour more before transferring to another hot spot.

Ten minutes into the half hour, however, the tablet computer in his jacket pocket started beeping. Natsume casually took it out. It could be similar to the ones they've been getting since yesterday. Powerful enough, but not exactly the same Alice signature they're looking for.

Natsume fumbled with the screen, and located the blinking red dot.

"Lee," he called to his partner through his earpiece. His partner should be able to compare the data from the previous findings, and verify whether the trace was valid.

"I'm on it, H," he heard him typing away. "Give me a sec."

Natsume decided to might as well check it out, seeing that it's in the market district—just a few meters from where he was. So he left the bike and started walking, following the direction from the map in the feed.

"Pretty powerful, don't you think, Lee?" usually, the trace they've been picking up would only last a few seconds, not more than a minute—indicating that the Alice energy used wasn't significant.

This realization made the Black Cat pick up speed until he was sprinting to get to the location. Maybe it's not their subject, but whatever it was, there should be no reason a person released or was releasing such an Alice unless they were in danger or causing someone harm.

In less than a couple of meters from the spot, the beeping stopped, and so did Natsume. He looked at the screen, perplexed. Then, one continuous shrill sound emanated from the feed, and suddenly disappeared, completely.

"What the—," he heard Lee curse from the other line. There was supposed to be a resonance. The trace was supposed to fade, not just disappear.

The signature! Natsume was sure of it. He found their subject. He dashed to the remaining distance to where the tracer detected the Alice.

"What's going on?" Natsume heard Yojiro's question over the commset, but he ignored him for the time being. Finding the subject was more pressing matters than his inquiries.

"It's a match, H!" Lee announced confirming his conclusions just seconds ago.

"You found it?" the excitement in Yojiro's voice was obvious, but none of his team paid attention.

"Where are you now?" Lee asked. Natsume has just reached the spot in the feed, but with the scene he was welcomed with, it would be hard to tell who triggered the tracer.

"I'm here," Natsume replied in his serious voice.

In front of him was what used to be a neat row of tents with vendors selling different retail products from rare produce to gourmet pastries to knickknacks and souvenirs, but was now a smorgasbord of products, vendors and tourists. It was like something tripped one of the poles holding the tent, causing a domino effect to the entire alley.

"H, talk to me," Lee called sounding as anxious as ever.

Natsume roamed his eyes, quickly assessing both the damage and the reaction of the people involved in the accident. It appeared that no one got seriously hurt.

"I got nothing," Natsume told Lee, gritting his teeth. This was it—they're only chance to catch their subject. Their chance to finish their mission. "Please tell me you got something on camera."

Lee's words came true. It took an accident—a dangerous one at that—to make the subject use his Alice, and in turn, activating the tracer. And he won't likely make another slip-up anytime soon.

"Hang on," Natsume waited while Lee reviewed the surveillance feeds.

He continued to observe the people in the scene. There were kids crying, calling to their parents. There were some who were still obviously shocked, like the two French ladies he saw earlier, who were now standing at the side of the street far enough that they weren't directly involved, but close enough to feel the tension and the fear pulsating from the crowd.

"Nope, nothing. I see the whole thing go down, but no discernible source. One thing for sure, though. Whoever it was, he saved a whole lot of people today."

"Damn," Natsume cursed under his breath.

.

.

Face calm, Natsume fought the frustration he was feeling by pacing the small expanse of the living room of their hotel suite.

They have just lost their window—their only chance of finding the subject. His ticket to coming home to Mikan's waiting arms.

They're missing something, he was sure of it. There was something in the event earlier—another piece in the puzzle of their subject's identity.

"Do you think it's telekinesis?" Yojiro suddenly asked, catching the Black Cat's attention. He stopped pacing and turned to his team.

Yojiro was standing behind Lee as they watched the surveillance feed from a few hours ago for the fifth time since they got back to the hotel to regroup.

"It's possible," Lee replied absently.

_Telekinesis?_

Natsume considered the possibilities. He, himself, had seen the feed thrice, but he could still not pinpoint what it was that was nagging at him.

Mochu also has that Alice, he remembered. With that, he approached the two and called Lee's attention.

"Can you do a signature comparison from what we have in the database?"

Lee pursed his lips, as his habit when he's contemplating possibilities.

"Anyone in particular as reference point?" he asked their team leader while he sat up straight, and poised his fingers over the keyboard on ready.

"A guy from my class is telekinetic," Natsume answered. "His name's Mochiage. We call him Mochu."

Lee didn't waste any time and went to work right away. Yojiro quietly observed over the tech guy's shoulder.

If the subject was also telekinetic, surely his—yes, he decided to imagine they're subject as a guy until proven otherwise, for easy reference—Alice signature will be at least similar to Mochu's. It wasn't really a good lead, but it was a lead nonetheless.

"Got it," Lee announced triumphantly.

Natsume walked towards them and stood on the other side of the tech guy. The screen showed the two Alice signatures, looking like a type of graph, side by side. The graph on the left is Mochu's Alice signature, while the graph on the right was their subject's. The data on their subject's signature came from the trace that afternoon, so it should be quite reliable compared to the vague signatures the satellites had detected over the years.

The Black Cat scrutinized the two graphs. Although, at first glance, they were not an exact match, there were a few points that landed in the same coordinates in the plane.

"The program says it's a significant match," said Lee interpreting the data summary at the bottom of the screen. "It's not a perfect match, but significant means that it's of the same classification."

One piece of the puzzle, Natsume thought. But there were still more, something that still wasn't clicking.

"Is that only a piece of the signature graph?" Yojiro asked pointing at the graph on the right. Both Lee and Natsume suddenly looked at him, as if he just asked something absurd.

"What are you talking about, boy?" Lee shook his head. "You can't accurately compare signatures if you're only using a portion of it as variable."

"Okay," Yojiro shrugged, uncaring. "I just thought you cut it at an odd point, since the last one looks like half a peak. It went up but it didn't come down."

That was it!

Lee met Natsume's gaze, both pairs of eyes widening in disbelief. Yojiro, the newest and youngest in their team, actually pointed out something very significant—something they've forgotten right after they noticed it that afternoon.

A normal Alice energy fades into a small resonance. It was like when a fire is snuffed out, it doesn't just disappear completely. The smoke lingers before it completely dissipates. It's the same with Alice energy. It should slowly dissipate. That wasn't the case with their subject's.

His Alice energy peaked before it just suddenly disappeared, which was why the signature showed half a peak, as Yojiro put it, as its last point.

"Nullifying Alice?" Lee eyed him cautiously. He knew Mikan's Alice was nullification.

Natsume mentally shook himself. He couldn't let himself wander on thoughts of his girlfriend right now.

His expression remained stoic as he spoke, "Maybe, but even a Nullifying Alice fades the same way other Alices do, and its signature reflects it."

"A controlling device?" Yojiro contributed.

Lee's eyebrow twitched in response. Was the boy actually slowly earning respects from the bullying Lee?

Natsume had to admit, even he was surprised. Yojiro was providing significant contributions to this meeting.

"That's the most possible answer behind it," Natsume affirmed.

"That's some controlling device, though," Lee mumbled as he returned his attention to the monitor, playing the feeds once again. "To be able to do that."

.

.

While Lee studied the other surveillance feeds around the market district, Yojiro went out to buy their dinner. Natsume used this time to call in what they got so far.

He stepped out to the veranda, saw the sun slowly setting on the west, and braced himself for the call he didn't want to make. Persona wasn't thrilled with their progress, and he was definitely not ecstatic when Natsume told him of the accident that afternoon.

"Are you telling me, you could have been staring at the subject that whole time, and you didn't even know it?" Natsume didn't like his tone. He never liked his tone.

"Are you suggesting we should have grabbed everyone who was there?" he replied in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

Persona was one of his least favorite people. He wouldn't have cared how important this mission was to their adviser, if he didn't care about the consequences himself.

"I'm sure I don't need to remind you what the implications are if the Anti-Alice Organization gets a hold of it before we do," Natsume gripped the mobile phone dangerously tight. Persona didn't care about the subject. He only cared about its Alice.

Natsume took a deep breath before responding with conviction, "We will find him."

"Make sure you do," was all Persona said before disconnecting abruptly.

He pocketed the phone and exhaled his frustration of his adviser.

_Just a few more days_, he chanted in his head like a mantra. A few more days, and he was free of Persona. He wouldn't have to deal with the blasted teacher anymore.

He wouldn't have to deal with Persona, nor think about the Academy, and not even worry about the Anti-Alice Organization.

Despite his detestation of the teacher's guts, Natsume knew Persona had a point. They can't let the Anti-Alice Organization get a hold of their subject. That kind of Alice cannot fall into the wrong hands. Who knew what they'll do with so much power?

The Anti-Alice Organization… though it wasn't verified, there was a big probability the Organization was looking for the same person. If the news reached the Alice Academy, surely the same news also reached the counter organization.

An idea formed in the Black Cat's mind.

He walked back in the living room and approached Lee, who was still busy scanning the other surveillance feeds.

"I need you to look at something for me, Lee," he said as he stood right beside the tech guy.

Lee turned his head towards him, and just waited.

"I need you to look at the surveillance feeds again," he continued. "But this time, look for probable Anti-Alice members."

Lee's eyebrow raised, curious, "Any plans on sharing where you're going with this?"

"Something Persona mentioned,"

"Persona?" he knew how much Natsume disliked the teacher, so it was a surprise to hear him acknowledging the teacher gave him any good ideas.

"AA is probably searching like us, right?" Lee nodded in agreement. "If we don't have a lead, can we also simply assume they don't? What if they've seen something during the accident this afternoon that we didn't?"

His partner chewed on that for a moment before speaking, "I like the way you think."

With that, he turned his attention back to the computer in front of him, and started working.


	5. Chapter 5: Highway to Hell

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**5| _Highway to Hell_**

.

It was probably a waste of time.

Last night, over their bento dinner, Yojiro and Lee simultaneously reviewed the surveillance feeds once again. But instead of looking for any signs of their subject, they searched for any signs of members of the Anti-Alice Organization.

While they were on it, Natsume reviewed the files and data the analysts at the Academy provided. Despite having read the packet over and over—more times than he cared to remember—he still kept an open mind, hoping that there was just something in them that they're missing. Something that would give them a clue on their subject's profile.

By seven in the evening, their search finally bore fruit when Lee spotted Riyuki Soma, one of the prime members of the Anti-Alice Organization, near the accident site at the market district less than an hour after they detected the trace.

Surely, his appearance near the site was no coincidence.

Lee followed his tracks with the cameras Yojiro installed all over town. He was even able to catch a conversation Riyuki had via his mobile phone. Riyuki mentioned meeting with someone in a nearby town over the mountain, around the same time with the Festival.

Natsume then ordered his team to continue the surveillance in town for the subject, while he followed Riyuki and tried to investigate what the Anti-Alice Organization was really up to in Sendai.

However, about half an hour since the Music Festival has started in Kotodai Park back in Sendai, the time Riyuki was supposed to meet with someone, there was still no sign of any other Anti-Alice members.

Maybe Riyuki was in town for personal reasons. He has thought of that more than a few times for the past couple of hours.

He was ready to phone Lee and tell him he's coming back when he saw a black sedan pulled over in front of the quaint restaurant he has been watching. Natsume was sitting in the café across the street, seated near the window, and has been watching the patrons coming in and out of the restaurant's door.

When the passenger door of the sedan opened and a tall guy stepped out, Natsume didn't need binoculars to confirm who it was.

_Finally_, the Black Cat sneered mentally. _It's been a while, Riyuki Soma._

Two more men stepped out from the backseat. They were all wearing black suits, as if attending a very important business deal.

Natsume caught Riyuki, obviously the team leader in the group, looking around before putting his hands in his pants' pockets and walking towards the restaurant entrance.

He waited for a few minutes to see who he could be meeting with. But when still no new guest arrived, Natsume decided it was time to move closer.

He paid for his coffee, and casually left the café. He looked to his left and right, checking more for any other Anti-Alice members rather than passing vehicles, before crossing the street.

Natsume knew he couldn't go through the front door. He did a quick survey of the place earlier before he settled on the café across the street. He knew he can get through the back door, which led to a small hallway dividing the kitchen and the employee's locker area. He could quietly slip through there to the dining area, hopefully unnoticed.

He has reached the side of the establishment when he felt something odd. His instincts immediately urged him to turn around and run.

As he turned to walk back the way he came, three men in black suits appeared, blocking his way. They all had sneers on their faces, which made Natsume itch to use his Alice on them, see who will be laughing then.

"Why am I not surprise?" a voice the Black Cat knew quite well sounded from behind him.

He muttered a curse before turning around. They knew he was coming.

"Riyuki," he confirmed upon seeing his nemesis. There was no mistaking the olive-tone of his blond hair, and his arrogant posture. Standing in the middle of two burly men in the same dark suits, he was even more confident of himself.

If there was one person the Black Cat hated more than Persona, it would be this guy. He was always so sure and confident that he could take the Black Cat down any given time—not that he never tried, he just never succeeded. Yet still, he continued to act as if they were equals in strength and power.

If Alice Academy had the Black Cat, the Anti-Alice Organization had Riyuki Soma, or Frost as what they named him.

That, however, didn't mean they were equals.

Natsume conjured a fire with his right hand, but a jolt of electricity instantly shot through his arm extinguishing his fire right away.

_What the—?_ He then realized they had a Barrier Alice with them. No wonder the guy was so confident. This was neutral ground. Just six men against one.

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk," Riyuki shook his head as he took a couple of steps closer to him. "Is that a way to greet a friend?"

His tone was so careless and smug that it irked Natsume to no end. Although none of it reflected on his expression. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of showing him just how much he irritated him. Natsume knew from the beginning that non-reaction was always more effective, especially against self-centered jerks.

"I don't recall you hanging yourself, which would be the only way we'll be friends," he retorted nonchalantly.

Riyuki threw his head back and laughed like a crazy person—which Natsume was certain he actually was.

"Oh, that was funny," he said still shaking from laughter. He even made a show of wiping non-existent tears with the back of his hand. "I didn't know you were such a comedic, Natsume. Who would have thought the Black Cat actually knows how to tell a joke?"

"Who said I was joking?"

He instantly sobered, with the humor from his pale blue eyes gone. This told Natsume he was ready for his reveal—their purpose in Sendai, for cornering the Black Cat. Riyuki was, after all, every bit the typical villain. He never seemed to help himself but spill their big plans, because he loved to gloat, especially when he thought they got the upper hand in a situation, like now.

It was six against one, after all.

"So tell me, what brought you to Sendai?" he circled Natsume slowly as if giving him a thorough inspection. Probably checking for weapons—worldly weapons, that is. The five other men still remained in their positions, watching…waiting.

"You tell me."

"Oh, no, I asked first," Natsume clenched his jaw and fist. He wanted to punch the guy so bad. He knew, however, that it was more important to hear the jerk's reveal before doing anything rash.

"I bet you already know."

"Hmm, let's see," Riyuki cocked his head to the side and held his chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Does it have anything to do with the accident at the Market District yesterday?"

Natsume knew it. They also received the same information about their subject.

"That was something, right?" Riyuki continued with fascination when he didn't answer. Not like he actually expected one. "Just my luck. See, Darius," he gestured to one of the guys behind Natsume. "sensed that there was a latent Alice energy in the area. He said it was pretty strong and unusual. He couldn't exactly tell who it was, so I had to take a chance. And what do you know?"

Natsume's eyes widened in understanding, "You caused the accident."

"Oops," he smiled, clearly far from being remorseful of what he has done.

"You could have gotten those people hurt," the other men must have felt the tension in the air just got heavier from the promise of danger in Natsume's tone, because they shifted ever so slightly, taking a more defensive pose.

"Yawn," Riyuki flipped his hand like he was bored, oblivious to the shift around him. "Like I care. I found her, didn't I? That's what matters."

_Her?_

So the subject is female? And they found her? Did that mean they got her? They have the subject?

"I'll be sure to give your regards to her, Black Cat," Natsume was still lost in his thoughts that Riyuki's signal didn't register until one of the men tried to grab him from behind.

His reflex, thankfully, worked properly and was able to sidestep the attacker. Two men attacked him simultaneously, but he was able to block them with his defensive skills.

"Don't just stand there, grab him!" he heard Riyuki ordered from yards away. Coward!

Natsume blocked a punch from one of the men. Using the man's own momentum, he turned him around and threw him to the other two guys. Three men stumbled to the ground blocking the way for the two burly guys, who were still left standing. Natsume saw that as his escape, and he ran towards his bike parked a few cars from the café across the street.

"Follow him, you idiots!" Riyuki yelled from behind.

Natsume didn't stop to look if they were indeed following him. He just quickly grabbed and wore his helmet, jumped his bike and revved his engine to start.

He sped away from the street to the highway, and drove off to the setting sun, back to Sendai where his team was waiting for him.

.

.

"This is useless," Lee heard the boy's complaint through the Bluetooth commset. "Even if the subject is here, we'll never find him."

While H checked out what Riyuki and the Anti-Alice Organization was up to, he and Sagara were stuck in the Music Festival. He had to transfer their equipments back to the van, just in case the subject shows itself and the boy needed back-up. Although Lee was practically useless in hand-to-hand combat, he can do weapons. He hoped they wouldn't have to resort to that though.

Violence had always bugged him. He was just thankful that not all of his missions with the Black Cat were violent.

"Walk in the park, Sagara," he reminded the boy of what he said the other day when they arrived in Sendai. "Walk in the park."

"Why don't you try walking in this park, old man?" Lee chuckled at that. He wouldn't trade his current position for anyone or anything. He preferred to be surrounded with his toys rather than rub sweat and share body odor with locals and tourists attending the Music Festival.

_Poor Sagara_, he thought, but not regretfully.

Even from where their van was parked, just outside the barriers confining the crowd, he could feel the bass of the music rumbling the ground and the metal parts of their vehicle.

His right foot was involuntarily stomping to the drum beats while he worked the camera they installed around the area. He was even starting to sway to the music when he heard a beep from his commset. He automatically pressed the button to accept the connection.

"Lee!" he heard the slight panic in H's voice, and he immediately sat up straight, the music forgotten.

"H, what happened?"

"I need eyes," from the vacuum sound in the other line, Lee could tell that the Black Cat was on his bike and was wearing his helmet. Probably speeding down a highway.

"Where are you, H?" he asked as he switched one of the monitors from displaying camera feeds to satellite feeds.

"I'm on my way to town. I'm still in the mountain," he quickly panned the satellite map and zoomed in to the mountain his partner was trekking. "But I got AA following me."

"Damn," he'd bet all his gadgets that Soma guy was the instigator. The Anti-Alice member had had it in for the Black Cat ever since their paths first crossed years ago. The guy was just plain demented.

"Sagara!" he hurriedly called to the boy still walking in the park. "Get your butt back here, boy, right this instant, or I'll leave you out there alone."

"Coming!" he answered panting, already running. He surely heard everything from the moment Lee connected H's call to their network.

"Hang on, H. We're on our way."

Yojiro made it to the van less than two minutes later. Lee immediately positioned himself to the driver's seat, while Yojiro assumed his position in front of the computers, right before putting his commset next to the monitors so that he wouldn't hear the echo of Lee's voice.

"You've got a total of three on your tail, H," he informed him of the last thing he saw before relinquishing his tech guy throne to Yojiro. "We're on our way. We'll meet you down at the Marina. Can you hold that long?"

"Hard to say," the Black Cat answered. "I still have about five to six curves ahead of me. Let's just hope they run out of ammo soon."

Lee muttered a curse as he drove away from the park towards the Marina.

"Keep your eyes on H, Sagara," he said to the boy at the back while keeping his own eyes on the road.

"On it," the boy replied. Lee was thankful that even if they argue like children in the playground, on times like this, he and Yojiro actually worked well together.

"Damn it," the hiss from the Black Cat caused him to worry more of his situation.

"Stay with us, H," Lee urged. "Just a few more curves. We're also almost there."

This is the part he didn't like the most—liked it even less than the violence. This risking their lives—especially H's life—all the time. Although their missions were not always violent, they risk their lives every time, more so the Black Cat, since he's actually the one who was always front and center.

"One car down," Yojiro said, briefly distracting Lee from his thoughts. "Natsume got them with his Alice."

_Good_, Lee thought. _That's good. Hang in there, H._

Then, he heard the painful grunt, and Lee's gut wrenched in return.

_That's not good._

"H, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly, realizing that he probably got shot. "Are you okay?"

When he didn't answer, the anxiety in Lee's stomach grew. "Hold on, buddy. Almost there."

Lee was a little too distracted that he didn't notice the road block right away until it was almost too late.

"Damn!"

"What's wrong?" Yojiro asked, leaning towards the front seat to get a better look of what was happening.

"Damn, festival! Damn these people!" he couldn't help the frustration seeping from his tone. He knew that it wouldn't help, but he just couldn't help himself. "H, we've got road block. We'll turn around and find another way. Hang in there, H."

Lee took the detour. Just a few more minutes. They're almost at the Marina.

"Yes!" he heard cheering from the back. "That was awesome Alice-at-work."

"Lee," H called to him. "I'm almost at the Marina."

"Us, too. ETA, five minutes."

"Oh, seriously!" the tone in Yojiro's voice got him worried. "I'm seeing two new cars, most likely AA as well."

"What did you say, Sagara?" he wasn't sure he heard him correctly.

"There are two new sedans. Different road, but it's almost perpendicular to where Natsume is coming from."

"H, two new cars coming at you," he informed the Black Cat, before turning back to Sagara, "From where exactly, boy?"

"I'm checking, I'm checking!" he could hear him fumbling with the keys. "Intersection!"

He repeated it to his commset right away, but it was too late. He heard a crashing and tumbling sound, and he thought his heart stopped.

"H, what happened? Damn it, did you just crash?"

Instead of an answer, he heard H coughing painfully. The gurgling sound evident because the commset was too close to his mouth.

"H, answer me!"

He could see the Marina now. They made it. H needed help, and they were here.

"Lee—," he spat, and Lee was afraid it was blood, before continuing. "It's been a good ten years."

Panic seized him, "What the hell are you saying? Don't talk crazy." His tone was too serious, too sure. No, it can't be. "We're here! Hang on, H. Don't do anything stupid!"

He stopped the van just at the edge of the Marina. He and Yojiro jumped out immediately.

"Lee," H muttered, as he searched for the Black Cat's exact position. "Tell her I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not telling her nothing!" He saw him then. He was standing so close to the edge of the boardwalk. He was slouching and was holding his side, bleeding. "Do you understand?"

He wasn't seriously doing what he thought he was doing, was he?

The Black Cat's next muted words affirmed his suspicion, "I won't even let them catch me when I'm dead."

"H, no!"

Even from the distance, the impact of the sudden explosion seized both him and Sagara. He couldn't do anything but watch the angriest fire he had ever witnessed, swallowing three sedans, including most of the Anti-Alice members near it.

"Natsume," he called through the commset, but there was just silence on the other line.

He looked back to where he was standing, and saw his feet going overboard, to the dark waters below.

Then, the connection went dead.


	6. Chapter 6: Time, Please Stop

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**6| _Time, Please Stop_**

_._

The breeze was like a longing caress on her skin.

Mikan awoke with a start, when she thought she heard someone whispered her name. She absently reached for her left cheek, still feeling the tingling sensation of a cold breath against her face.

Another gush of wind swirled around her room, and despite the darkness, she knew her window must be open. She stood, rubbing her eyes, and moved towards it.

She sighed as she closed it.

It's been almost four days, and still Natsume has not returned. He was hardly gone for this long.

She heaved another sigh before heading back to her bed. That was when she felt it. She was not alone.

With a gasp, and a hand over her chest, she turned to the small couch near her fireplace. Sure indeed, she was not alone.

"Natsume," her heart fluttered at seeing him for the first time after how many days—after being so worried for his safety.

Natsume stood and gave her a heart-warming smile, opening his arms to her.

"Natsume!" she ran to him with such force that it knocked them both back to the couch, with Mikan landing on his lap. He let out a silent chuckle, running his hand up and down her soft long hair.

"I missed you so much," she buried her face at the nook of his neck, inhaling his earthy masculine scent.

"I missed you, too," he replied, tightening his arms around her in an embrace.

"Don't ever leave me again," Mikan pleaded. She did not think she can bear to be away from Natsume again not knowing whether he would be able to come back to her in one piece.

When Natsume didn't reply, she moved slightly away from him, still keeping her arms around his neck, but enough to look directly at his face.

"Natsume?" he's got a faraway look that made Mikan uneasy. That look told her he was contemplating his answers, editing his words—which, from her experience, was never good. "What's wrong?"

He looked down at her, and gently touched her face with the tips of his fingers, "I should have never left you."

He wiped the moisture at the corner of her eyes—she didn't realize she was crying—and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

"I should have stayed," his voice was so pained, it hurt Mikan to hear it.

Mikan shook her head and flashed him her warm smile, "The important thing is you're here. And you're never leaving me again."

Natsume remained silent, just roaming his eyes around her face as if searching for something, but she didn't know what.

"I love you," he then whispered, but instead of elation, Mikan felt like her heart clenched agonizingly. It was the way Natsume said those words, like instead of proclaiming his love, he was actually saying goodbye.

_But that can't be, right?_ She thought, feeling a new set of tears warming her eyes. _He just got here. I just got him back._

Natsume dipped his head and touched his lips to hers. When Mikan let out a sob, he pressed her even closer to him, deepening their kiss. The mix of love and desperation was evident in the way he held her that Mikan could not help but give the same intensity of passion back to him.

He had her so tight in his embrace, like he wanted to mold her body to his completely—desperate to mesh her with him.

It was Natsume who pulled away first, but he kept her face close to his. With his forehead leaning on hers, he closed his eyes once again and sighed. His cool breath was like a caress on her face.

"I'm sorry," he apologized with a voice so low, Mikan wouldn't have heard it had she not been so close to him.

Mikan opened her eyes then and held his face to urge him to look at her. He did, and what she saw threatened her tears to fall.

His ruby eyes were glistening with unshed tears. It hurt to see him in pain, but why was he hurting? And why was he apologizing?

"Natsume, what's wrong?" she stood then, almost afraid to hear his answer. "Did something happen?"

He stood, too.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, more audible this time.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I—I can't stay,"

"What—?"

_What does that mean?_ She wanted to know.

He cupped her face with both of his hands, "I love you. Always remember that."

"What are you saying?" her anxiety was starting to become a full blown panic. She couldn't hold it any longer. His words caused the dam to burst, and her tears fell uncontrollably.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," he continued, as if he didn't hear her question.

"Natsume," her tone was pleading.

"Keep smiling for me, Mikan," a cold shiver took over in the absence of his touch on her skin.

She wiped her tears frantically. When her vision was clear enough, she looked up at him, but Natsume was gone. She was all alone in her dark room, with the windows again wide open. A soft breeze blew in, and an aching chill crept up her skin, leaving her feeling empty.

"Natsume!" she slumped to the floor, weakened by her agony. She stayed like that sobbing, her hand clutching over the pain in her chest.

.

.

Mikan woke up just as the sun was rising in the horizon. She could see from the drawn window curtains sliver of lights escaping through the edges, making it appear like it's glowing in the semi-darkness of her room.

"Natsume," she whispered and felt the dried tears on her cheeks. She sighed. "Just a dream."

She should have been relieved, realizing that it was not real, but what she felt was the exact opposite. It worried her even more.

The pain she felt—was still feeling—was so tangible, that she couldn't just dismiss it. After all, Natsume was not back yet. She still wasn't certain that he was safe and sound.

His absence was eating up a hole in her chest, as if a hand was crushing her heart to pieces.

She did not believe in premonitions—at least, that was what she was convincing herself of that morning. Because if she did believe in them, the implications of it were much worse.

.

.

Two mornings later, Mikan still carried that heavy feeling that dream brought her. She could hardly even pay attention to the breakfast in front of her.

At this point, her friends already knew, though they never openly talked about it, that Natsume was away on a mission. Whenever he disappeared for more than a day, and Mikan looking so miserable the whole time he was away, the rest of the gang understood. Since it has been almost a week since Natsume joined them for breakfast, the melancholy aura was even more unbearable than usual.

The whole table was quiet. No enthusiastic conversation can be heard. Even the lazy sounds of silverware against China indicated that no one was enjoying the continental breakfast the High School Dormitory was serving.

"Aren't you hungry, Mikan?" the concern in Hotaru's voice beside her triggered the hot liquid to form in her eyes. "You also didn't eat much at dinner last night."

"I'm alright, Hotaru," she assured her, though weakly.

She inhaled deeply, hoping to hold her tears in. She didn't want to break down in front of her friends. Though the anxiety was killing her, and her dream a couple of nights ago was not helping either, she had to stay strong. Natsume will come back. It will be any day now.

"This sucks," Mochu muttered from his end of the table, drawing the attention to him.

"What is it, Mochu?" Iinchou asked, though already understanding and even agreeing that it, indeed, sucked.

"This," he gestured to his plate as if he was talking about his breakfast. "It's almost graduation. Why does this have to happen?"

That has been the same sentiment Mikan had when she saw Yojiro Sagara almost a week ago. But then, she couldn't completely blame it on the Academy, right? In fact, she couldn't even blame it on Persona. Because like what Natsume said the night he left, he had to do this. Though he didn't say it flat out, this mission was his decision—he full-heartedly agreed to take it on. For the first time, Persona didn't have to force nor oblige him.

Mikan, though, could not reveal that fact to their friends. It was enough that they figured out Natsume was away on a mission.

The gentle squeak of metal against metal warned the group of their Dorm Mother's approach.

"Mikan Sakura, Ruka Nogi and Hotaru Imai," she called in a nonchalant tone. "It has come to my attention that your presence is requested at the Receiving Area in the Main Building."

"What's going on, Dorm Mother?" Ruka asked with apprehension. This will be the first time all three of them were called together. And why in the Receiving Area? They hardly even stepped foot in the Main Building.

The robot shrugged—at least that's how it seemed—before answering, "I don't know really, but the summon came from your teacher Narumi."

Mikan felt a gentle touch on her shoulder. When she looked up, Ruka's weak smile greeted her.

"Come on, Mikan,"

She nodded. When she stood, Hotaru went beside her and held her hand. Her friend squeezed it gently and gave her an encouraging nod when she looked at her.

She did the same in gratitude for the unspoken support.

The three silently walked out of the Dining Hall together, as the rest of their friends followed them with their apprehensive gazes.

.

.

The whole walk to the Main Building was torture to Mikan.

She had no idea what Teacher Narumi wanted. And when she first realized that it could somehow be connected to Natsume, her heart rate just went into overdrive. She could feel her palms sweating, and she was almost tempted to pull her hand from Hotaru's hold. It was the silent comfort her bestfriend was giving her that stopped her from doing so.

When they reached the huge double doors of the Receiving Area, Ruka looked at the two girls, as if asking them if they were ready.

Hotaru nodded in reply, while Mikan had to take a deep breath before giving the same gesture. Ruka then pushed one of the doors, and held it open for the them to enter.

Narumi stood from his position on the single couch the moment they stepped in the room.

"Mikan, Ruka, Hotaru," he greeted them with a timid smile. "Thank you for coming."

He gestured to the long couch adjacent to his, "Please, sit."

"What's going on, Teacher Narumi?" Ruka asked the moment his bottom touched the soft fabric of the upholstery.

Both Mikan and Hotaru were looking at their teacher expectantly, anxious to hear what he had to say.

"We have some difficult news," Mikan's heart was hammering so loud against her ear, that she could hardly hear what Teacher Narumi was saying.

"We?" it was Hotaru who asked.

Then, as if on cue, the door opened and the one person Mikan did not want to see—yet, was almost desperate to seek after six days of not hearing any updates—walked in.

"Persona," Narumi greeted the other faculty member.

"Why is he here?" the spite in Ruka's tone was evident, but the newly arrived teacher ignored it, like always.

He approached the group and stood near where Narumi was seated. He looked at the three students, as if studying them before speaking, "Narumi called you here to tell you about the Black Cat."

Mikan's eyes widened in shock. Finally, she was to hear news about Natsume, and why he has not returned yet.

But as Persona continued to deliver the news, the anguish and the pain she felt the other night in her dream came crashing back. She couldn't breathe.

_This is not happening_, she mentally cried. _This is not happening!_

She didn't hear the rest of the conversation. She thought she heard Ruka yelling at Persona, or at Narumi, but she was too numb to care.

"What exactly are you saying?" Ruka's question penetrated Mikan's consciousness. She looked up, and found Persona looking at her.

She couldn't see his expression, because the tears forming in her eyes distorted her vision.

"I'm saying that Natsume's dead."

Mikan's heart stopped the same time her two friends let out an audible gasp.

"No," she muttered under her breath. Her tears were flowing down her cheeks but she didn't move to wipe them. "That's not true."

"I'm sorry, Mikan," Narumi held her wringing hands on her lap. She didn't feel him approach and kneel in front of her.

It's a lie. It has to be. There was no other explanation. Natsume can't be… just, no!

Mikan stood abruptly then, and ran. She heard them calling after her, but she did not look back. She did not care. She just ran. She didn't know where she was going, but she couldn't stay. She could not bear to hear what else they were going to say.

She only wanted one thing. She only wanted him back.

_Natsume…_

* * *

**Next Chapter: _In the Mourning _**

_Natsume's Funeral and how Mikan was handling it all... _


	7. Chapter 7: In the Mourning

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**7| _In the Mourning_**

_._

It was just pathetic, all of it.

The small assembly. The funeral. The eulogies of their close friends. All of it was pointless.

Mikan did not understand why they were wasting their time mourning when Natsume was not dead.

It was a lie. Just one big joke. Maybe even something Persona concocted.

Natsume said he would come back, then that meant that _he would_. Did they have no confidence in the Black Cat? Hypocrites, all of them.

Well, not Mikan. No, not her indeed.

While the Academy wasted their time for a meaningless funeral, she stayed in the shelter of her favorite tree—their Sakura Tree— where she could feel Natsume the most.

The early spring brought soft breezes that blew loose strands of hair over Mikan's face. But she just continued to sit there on the grass, her back leaning on the huge trunk.

The pink flowers had started to bloom a few days ago. They still have a few more days before every single flower has fallen off the tree.

The Sakura blossoms. A symbol of youth. So beautiful, yet seemed to pass so quickly.

Should appreciate it while it lasted.

Like her time with Natsume.

Wasn't it just a little over a week ago when she and Natsume celebrated their fifth anniversary? Even though it was exam week, they both took a break from studying to exchange gifts under their Sakura Tree. Natsume gave her a beautiful long scarf made of pink and red wool, which seemed to change color depending on the angle the light hit it. Mikan then gave him a single red earring, just a small ruby stud...

"Don't hurt yourself," she remembered him teasing her during their last time together under their tree.

"Huh?" Mikan turned to him then, confused.

"You seem to be thinking too hard, and thinking is such a dangerous task for a clumsy girl like you,"

"What did you just say?!" Mikan yelled waving her fist in front of Natsume, seriously considering if she should take a punch at his smug face. "Here we are, a decade after, and you're still belittling my intelligence!"

When he chuckled, it only stoked Mikan's exasperation further.

"Oh, you're seriously asking for it, you stupid Hyuuga."

She poised her right hand, ready to hit, but Natsume was faster. He grabbed that hand instead, and pulled her towards him, landing her on his lap ungraciously.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, not at all pleased. She was really kind of pissed. She couldn't help it. Natsume could still bring out the worst in her.

When she moved to get up, he wrapped both of his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer to him.

"Let go of me!"

"No," was his simple answer before leaning forward, and dropping a kiss to the back of her neck. "You fall for it every time, you know?"

Mikan sighed, finally able to calm down—from her sudden irritation, at least. Now her heart was beating faster for a whole new other reason.

"Why do you enjoy teasing me?" she asked as she settled more comfortably against him.

"To assure myself that it's really you," he replied softly, wrapping his arms tighter around her midsection. "Because I often wonder what I did right to make you choose to stay with me. Because I still can't believe that you would love someone like me."

"Someone like you?" Mikan shifted from her position, so she can face him better. She cupped his face with both palms, and looked him straight in the eyes. "You are the most selfless and loving person I've ever met, and you deserve all the love I can give and more. Don't ever doubt that, okay? And don't ever doubt my love for you and me staying by your side, because nothing—I mean, _nothing_—could dissuade me from loving you. Understand?"

"Understand," he held her eyes a moment longer before continuing. "I love you, even beyond forever."

.

.

It was painful for Ruka to watch, seeing the ever-cheerful Mikan so devastated. The usual glow about her gone, replaced by a gloom that seem to overcome her spirit. The way she was just sitting there under the Sakura Tree, with that lost look in her face...

He wondered how long she has been there. He knew for a fact that she wasn't in the funeral. Could she have been sitting there this whole time?

He understood her grief, as he was hurting himself. Natsume was his bestfriend—for a long time, his _only_ friend. He was more a brother to him, really. And now, he's gone.

He was always afraid he would lose Natsume early, but because of the toll his Alice was causing to his health, and not because of one of his blasted missions. It wasn't right.

That time Persona and Narumi broke the news to them, he wanted to punch someone—Persona, specifically. But when Mikan fled, his anger took a back seat for his concern for her. He and Hotaru went after her, but they lost her on a turn outside the Main Building.

That was three days ago. Mikan has been distant since then. She didn't come to the Dining Hall for meals. The girls had to bring her a tray of food to her room instead. But even so, she hardly ate anything.

She also wouldn't talk to anyone, not even to Hotaru, her own bestfriend. She would just either cry her eyes out, or stare into oblivion, and past out when her body couldn't take it anymore.

Yesterday, he thought they had a breakthrough, when she finally appeared in the Dining Hall for supper. Still sullen, but at least it was progress. She also had a few bites of her dinner. The relief around the table was palpable, though no one spoke of it, afraid of anything triggering Mikan's fragile state.

Then a few indiscreet girls from the other table started talking about the funeral for Natsume the next day. When Mikan overheard, she dropped her spoon, stood and approached the oblivious girls. Ruka didn't realize right away what Mikan was up to until she spoke to one of the girls in her cold silent tone, "What do you mean a _funeral_?"

The girls where obviously startled to find her standing next to their table. The one nearest Mikan answered warily, "It's f-for Na... the funeral, it's for, for Natsume."

"How can there be a funeral for someone who's not dead?"

The girls shifted uncomfortably, "But he is. I thought... I thought you... knew."

"He's not dead!" Mikan yelled, which silenced the whole Dining Hall, and fled to her room.

Ruka and the rest of their table stood, unsure whether they should run after her, or let her be for now. In the end, they all decided to let Hotaru go after her alone, thinking that's probably the best in this situation. They didn't know how to really console her anyway.

This morning, when Ruka didn't see Mikan in the funeral, he knew he had to do something. For Natsume, he had to be there for Mikan, had to help her somehow. He knew Natsume wouldn't want anything more but for them to be there for the one woman he loved more than his own life. How he would go about it was something he has yet to figure out though.

Although unsure of what exactly to tell her, Ruka approached Mikan by the tree. He stopped right beside her, but she made no move to acknowledge his presence. Ruka sighed and silently sat next to her. Still, she remained motionless. He would have thought someone turned her into a statue, if not for her subtle breathing.

After what felt like ten years, Ruka took a deep breath and spoke, "Everyone was looking for you this morning."

Nothing.

He was about to repeat his words thinking she didn't hear them when she replied in a low hard voice.

"Natsume is not dead."

"Mikan..."

"No," she cut off with obvious disdain. She turned to him then. "How could you, Ruka? You, of all people! How could you?"

Ruka didn't exactly know what she meant, but before he could say so, she continued with her accusations.

"You're his friend! How can you just give up on him so easily? How can you just simply accept he's gone?"

His mouth fell open, unsure how to answer. Mikan was angry at him. At_ him_!

Yes, Ruka understood Mikan's grief. Her anger. Even her denial. He, himself, wanted to grieve as well, so badly. He wanted to release the pain he has been feeling ever since that day in the Main Building. He was angry. He just didn't know to whom he can direct his anger to.

Apparently, Mikan has no qualms directing her anger at him.

"Natsume said he's coming back. He promised! But you gave up so easily. And you call yourself a friend!"

That did it.

"How dare you, Mikan?" he replied, hurt laced every word. "I did not give up on him. Believe me, if I could change places with him, I would. Because I love Natsume. I know no one else who deserves happiness more than him."

Ruka had never felt any contempt for Mikan before. Not even ten years ago when he thought she had something to do with why Natsume got caught when they were trying to escape the Academy. But now, at this moment, he was angry at _her_. And it was not unfounded.

"You're not the only one grieving, Mikan," he continued in a restrained voice. Mad as he is, he could not find it in him to yell at her. "You're not the only one crying over Natsume's death. You're not the only one wishing it's not real—that this is just one big joke. You're not the only one picturing Natsume walking towards our lunch table with a smug look on his face as if he hadn't been missing all this time.

He's my friend, Mikan. He was my _bestfriend_. I knew him way longer than you knew him. He was the brother I never had. So don't say that I just simply accepted he's gone. I have not—not completely, but we can't change the fact that he is."

Mikan hung her head and muttered, "I'm... I'm sorry. It hurts so bad. The funeral just seemed wrong."

"You're not the only one hurting, and you can't be the sole focus of this whole thing. You can't blame the people for wanting a funeral for Natsume. You can't blame them if they want closure."

Mikan sobbed quietly.

Ruka wanted to cry, too. He wanted to cry on his girlfriend's shoulder, but since she was also Mikan's bestfriend, she's mostly with her instead.

He knew Natsume longer, but did that matter now? No. Everyone else only saw her pain. His seem inconsequential. So yes, he's angry with Mikan... but he couldn't really be angry at her. He loved her. He saw her like a sister-in-law who loved _his brother_ so much. She was the one who was able to put warmth back in Natsume's hardened eyes. He couldn't stay mad at her.

Ruka gathered Mikan in his arms and let her cry on _his_ shoulder. "I know it sucks, Mikan. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to add to your agony. But you can't throw your anger at your friends. You can't push us away. We're here for you. We're with you, not against you."

Mikan knew he was right. It was wrong to push her friends away. It was so wrong to yell at Ruka and accuse him of those hurtful things.

"I'm sorry, Ruka," she muttered in between sobs.

"You don't have to be sorry," he assured her. "I understand."

Mikan pushed away from him and wiped her tears. She inhaled deeply and looked him hard in the eyes.

"You're right, Ruka," her voice sounded like she came to a decision. "You're not to blame. The person who gave him the mission is."

Before Ruka can even react to her words, Mikan has already stood and turned to run towards the Main Building.

He had a feeling where she was headed.

.

.

The Faculty Room door slamming fiercely on the wall startled both Narumi and Persona, who were currently the only teachers occupying the area. All the other teachers either had something to attend to or were already enjoying the vacation early.

Narumi abruptly stood when he saw Mikan barging in, purpose written all over her face.

"Mikan, what are you..." but she ignored her favorite teacher and instead headed straight to Persona, who stood there astonished.

"It's all your fault!" Mikan wasted no time pointing fingers at the DA adviser. "You put him out there. His blood is in your hands. Why can't you just let him be? He's graduating—graduating! You just have to pull him for a last mission, don't you?"

Persona just stared at her, watched her breathing heavily, as if waiting—making sure she was done before giving her a response.

"It was most unfortunate, what happened to the Black Cat," he said in a cold indifferent tone. "However, for once, I can't take all the blame."

He paused for effect. Mikan swore she saw him sneer before continuing.

"I was not the one who insisted Natsume take on this mission."

Mikan was taken aback by that revelation. Who else would give Natsume a mission if not the Dangerous Ability Class Adviser? "If not you... then who...?"

"I did," Mikan's eyes bulged upon hearing that voice.

_It can't be!_

She turned ever so slowly, afraid to confirm what she already knew.

"Teacher Narumi?"

"Yes, Mikan," he confirmed with sad eyes. "_I_ was the one who insisted Natsume take on this mission."


	8. Chapter 8: My Heart is Broken

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**8| _My Heart is Broken_**

.

Mikan must be imagining things.

She did not just hear him right. It can't be. Not Teacher Narumi. Not the person she considered as her surrogate father.

How could he? Wasn't he the one fighting against sending students to missions outside the Academy, dangerous or not? How can it be that he was the one who pushed Natsume to his last mission? The mission that caused his life—no, his disappearance.

_Natsume is not dead! _An insistent voice in her head objected.

"No," Mikan shook her head in denial. "Please tell me that's not true."

Narumi hung his head, "I'm sorry, Mikan."

Mikan stared at her _former_ favorite teacher with daggers shooting from her eyes. "You're no better than them... No, you're worse."

With that, she left the room with renewed anger. Narumi called after her but she didn't hear him anymore.

.

.

She just walked, to nowhere in particular, but purposefully. Anywhere was better than where the Faculty Room was.

She went past the edge of the Southern Forest, and past the Hospital Building. When she spotted a vacant gazebo not too far from the Hospital, she stopped.

A memory flashed in her mind from almost ten years ago. Natsume was then hiding from Persona. She didn't know who Persona was and she didn't know about Natsume's missions at that time. Afraid that she would reveal his location, Natsume grabbed her and gagged her to keep her silent. They hid behind the gazebo until Persona was gone.

It wasn't this exact gazebo she was staring at now, but the memory still stirred something in her. She walked towards it, and sat. She lifted her feet off the ground so she can wrap her arms around her knees. The blockage in her throat indicated the onslaught of new set of tears. Mikan leaned her forehead on her knees to stifle her sobs. Her loose brown hair served as a curtain hiding her from the world.

She didn't know how can she still be breathing. How was it she was still alive? It seemed the pain in her heart was too much to bear. And as if the grief was not enough, betrayal had to cozy with it as well.

_Natsume, where are you? How can you leave me like this?_

She wondered back to their last night together. She pleaded him to decline this last mission. Just once, decline his mission.

_Not this time_, he had said. _I would've said 'no' before—to my other missions, but not this one. This time, I really have to do it. It's too important._

Too important. What could be _too important_ that he neglected his promise to her? What could be _too important_ that he sacrificed his life for it?

That last thought broke Mikan's reserve.

"Natsume..." she cried.

"Mikan?" a deep voice startled Mikan to her feet. For a moment, she thought Natsume was back. But instead, she saw a man who couldn't be pure Japanese given his facial features and blond hair. He also looked to be in his mid-thirties.

She wondered if he was a member of the faculty. Then, she briefly thought whether there was still a member of the faculty she was yet to meet given that she was already about to graduate.

What does she care?

She couldn't be mistaken though. He called her by name. But how could he know her name? She was pretty sure they have not met before.

The blond man must have noticed the wariness in her expression, because he suddenly cleared his throat and offered a smile.

"I'm sorry. It was rude of me," he held his hand to her. "The name's Lee."

Mikan looked at his offered hand.

"I worked with H," when her brows furrowed, he realized the slip. Of course, she wouldn't know his nickname for the Black Cat. "Ah, with Natsume. I was his partner... in his missions, I mean."

Mikan stared at the guy in front of her incredulously. She didn't know Natsume had a partner when he went to his missions. Except maybe for Yojiro Sagara, but he's a new student. In the past decade, she mostly assumed the Black Cat worked alone. He never mentioned a guy named Lee before. But then again, Natsume hardly mentioned details of his missions before.

_It's safer if you didn't know_, he would always say.

She eyed his still extended hand and shook it tentatively. He seemed harmless enough, even if he's a big guy and slightly intimidating. Mikan was just too depressed to be intimidated in the meantime.

"I would have said 'it's a pleasure to meet you, Lee' if not for the circumstances," she said bitterly as she sat once again.

"I understand, Mikan, believe me," he replied bobbing his head in agreement.

"You said you're Natsume's partner?"

"Yeah," Lee sat on the opposite ledge of the gazebo, facing her.

"Since when?"

There was a sad note to Lee's eyes as he looked down before answering, "Since ten years ago, when he first started taking on missions for the Academy."

By the look in his eyes, Mikan could tell they weren't just partners. They were friends. They've known each other for ten years. So Natsume had friends she never knew about? Natsume and Lee had worked together outside the Academy for a decade. What else did she not know?

"You've known him that long, and I've never—not once—heard about you?"

"I'm not allowed to mingle with regular students," his voice had a twinge of embarrassment as he explained. "I'm neither a student, nor am I a teacher of this school."

Mikan wanted him to explain what he meant, but she just didn't care at this moment. She was certain he was going to tell her something about Natsume.

"Then why come to me?"

"Courtesy," was his simple reply. He gazed into her eyes, as if still deciding whether to expound on that or not. Thankfully, he chose to do the former. "Natsume was more than a partner. He was my friend. He saved my life in more than one occasion, so yes, I owe him... and I wanted to personally extend my condolences to the person H—I mean, Natsume—held most dear, and thank her. _Thank you_."

"For what?" she asked confused.

"Natsume used to be cold and careless, would-stare-the-grim-reaper-in-the-eyes kind of careless, but when you two got together, I saw the change in him happen. Change for the better. It seemed he found someone to live for. He became more careful, but more effective. He had something to look forward to."

Mikan was silent. She wasn't sure if she believed what Lee had just said about how she affected Natsume. If he found someone to live for, which was her, where was he now? Why wasn't he here?

"Also, he asked me to do something..." that caught her attention, snapping her back straight to look at Lee and waited.

Lee seemed hesitant, but continued, "He asked me to tell you he's sorry... before he... he asked me to tell you that he's sorry."

Mikan's eyes grew wide, astounded, "You were there?"

_What kind of question was that? Of course he was there. They were partners._

"I was, sort of," he explained fidgeting, implying to her that he wasn't real comfortable with this topic. Well, tough luck, but Mikan needed answers. "I wasn't with him during the chase, but I saw him. I just didn't get to him in time."

She didn't understand, "In time for what? What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry," Lee shook his head. "I really shouldn't be telling you these."

Mikan panicked. She was just starting to get some answers regarding Natsume's disappearance, he couldn't stop now. "You already started, why don't you just finish? Besides, you owe me this, in a way. I know you know you owe me this."

She pinned him with a determined look. "Lee, I need to know. I need to know what really happened that lead to his... to _this_."

Lee stared back at her, his internal battles whether to tell her anything was evident. Finally, he ran his palm on his face in submission and sighed. "We were looking for someone, I can't tell who—the identity of this person is still quite sketchy as we speak. Natsume separated from the group to investigate another lead. It had something to do with the AA that were most likely also looking for the same person. Then, next thing I knew, Natsume was calling me, telling me that he was being chased by some AA guys. Not just with cars, Mikan, but with bullets as well."

Mikan's heart was beating so fast, she was afraid she'll have a cardiac arrest any second now. Natsume was chased by members of the Anti-Alice Organization and with _bullets_.

_Oh, God!_ she wanted to sob again, but couldn't because she wanted to hear every word Lee was revealing to her.

He continued, "We went to the rendezvous point so we can help him, but Natsume crashed. It was bad. I could hear it in his voice, the strain. He was surrounded. He told me to tell you he's sorry, then there was an explosion."

Mikan stopped breathing then. _No, Natsume._

"We arrived just in time to see the explosion. It was so big, he probably used a substantial amount of Alice to cause it. Then, I saw him fainted and... fell on the water."

There was no stopping the tears flowing down her face, even if she remained still as a statue trying to take in what she just heard.

"Mikan," Lee moved to sit next to her and held her hand tentatively. "I'm sorry. I really am. A search party was deployed, but with the current that night, it was impossible to know where the waters could have taken him. The Academy analysts said there was no chance he could have survived, given the injuries he sustained from the bullet chase and the amount of Alice he released that night. And so after two days of searching, they had to call off the search party."

Could it really be true? Could he really be gone? It was not a secret to Mikan that Natsume was suffering from the toll his Alice usage was taking from him. He was recently frequenting the Hospital Building. Natsume claimed that it was just routine check. Was it possible that his condition was worse than what he led her to believe?

Natsume had always thought he was protecting her by sparing her from the truth. If only he knew this was worse, the not knowing... the uncertainties. It was killing her.

_Don't give up now, _she heard that small voice of the stubborn Mikan in her head. _ Didn't you hear what he said? They still haven't found his body._

Right. Until he's found alive or otherwise, she couldn't give up. Although, she desperately preferred for him to be alive.

With renewed determination, Mikan asked the worried blond guy beside her, "Why was the person you're looking for so important that even the AA was looking for him? Who is he, or _what_ is he exactly?"

He let go of her hand and sighed, running his palm over his face once again, "I can't tell you that, Mikan. I'm sorry."

"Why not?" she asked defiantly. She wanted to know every aspect of the reason why the love of her life wasn't by her side at that moment. The more she knew, the more chances of her figuring out how to find him and get him back. Yes, one way or another, she'll get him back.

_Just you wait, Natsume._

"Lee, tell me," she tried another tactic. She pleaded with her soft voice. "Please, Lee. Why was the AA there? Who were you looking for?"

Lee shook his head, still refusing to answer.

Mikan almost gave up, until she heard a voice. She instantly looked up and found Narumi standing not far from them by the gazebo.

He looked at Mikan intently, and repeated what he said, "We're looking for the person with the Olympus Gene."

"What's an Olympus Gene?"

* * *

_**Next Chapter: For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic  
**__Graduation. And Mikan's going home to her grandfather after a decade since she left to follow Hotaru._

_**Author's Notes:** I hope you like the story so far. This whole thing is a long one. It's like a full-length novel. So I'm really targeting to upload 5-6 chapters a week. I hope that'll at least give you an idea of how much to expect each week._

_Thank you for reading. Thanks for the reviews as well. Keep 'em coming. I like reading what you think of my work. I've been on-and-off this story since 2007. I'm just glad that I'm finally satisfied enough to upload the first few parts._


	9. Chapter 9: For a Pessimist

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**9| _For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic_**

.

The day they've been waiting for has come.

Graduation. Finally. The ceremony was held earlier that day, and tomorrow, the graduates will be leaving the Academy walls to start a new stage of their lives outside with the rest of the world. The time has come for them to apply what they've learned from their years spent in the Academy, and be the outstanding citizens they were destined to be.

Tonight, however, was their last chance to party as students. The Student Council organized a Graduation Ball for the whole Senior batch. There was a brief program, speeches of congratulatory, but most of the night was devoted to dancing and socializing.

Friends huddled in groups, talking about their plans and promising to write one another when they go their separate ways the next day. That was exactly what Hotaru and her friends were doing. While the others were dancing, they were all seated in their designated table sharing their plans to one another.

"I'm actually quite excited," Anna said hardly containing the giddiness she felt towards her trip with Nonoko, Mochi and Yome.

"Yeah. Me, too," Nonoko agreed. "I've always wanted to see Kangaroos and Koalas."

"Ooh, Koalas are really cute," Sumire cooed, also feeling excited for her friends.

"I heard Australian girls are hot," Iinchou commented in an even tone. "Maybe I should join you. But then again, Europeans are quite hot, too."

"I heard the same thing," Mochu replied, wiggling his brows, which made the boys laugh knowingly. That, however, earned him a light smack on the back of his head from the sweet Anna.

"I'm sure you did," his girlfriend said smiling, but he knew too well not to cross Anna. She may be sweet and meek, but over the years, he learned that sweet and meek were more dangerous than brash and loud.

"You know I'm just kidding, right?" he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him.

"Right," she conceded with sweet sarcasm, which made the table roar with laughter.

Hotaru felt good to see her friends more or less back to their usual selves again.

Well, except maybe for Mikan.

It has been almost three weeks since Natsume's funeral. Mikan may be smiling and joining in the conversations now and then, but Hotaru knew it would still be long ways before her bestfriend would be back to the old cheerful Mikan—that is, if she'd ever go back to the old Mikan at all.

Although it saddened her immensely to know that this new Mikan might stay for a really long time, or even forever, she understood very well why she turned out the way she was now. She just hoped that her friend would soon find a reason to bring that smile back to her eyes.

"What about you, Hotaru and Ruka?" Iinchou's question jarred her from her thoughts. "What are your vacation plans?"

Ruka answered for the both of them, "Hotaru will be going home to her parents, and so will I to mine. But I'll come visit her in a couple of weeks. We're also planning to travel this summer, just not sure yet where we'll go."

"Meeting the folks, I see," Yome murmured to himself, which could only mean he picked the thought from Ruka's head.

Hotaru actually blushed, especially when Yome's comment was apparently heard by the rest of the group as implied by their knowing smiles. Hotaru and Ruka have been together longer than any of the couples in their table, so, yes, they were pretty serious. But "meeting the folks", as how Yome so aptly put it, indicated they were ready to be more than serious. However, Hotaru was not ready to openly admit that yet.

Ruka, on the other hand, was just smiling from ear to ear. Guess, he was excited to let everyone know.

"Good for you, Ruka," Sumire interjected, steering the attention away from the embarrassed couple. "I, myself, will be vacationing with Tetsuya and his family. They invited me to join them this summer to their lake house. Should be fun."

"Wow, Sumire," Nonoko and Anna cheered at the same time.

"That's great," Anna added, which Hotaru seconded.

It was indeed great. The relationship between Tetsuya and Sumire was a nice turn of events. When Mikan chose Natsume over Tetsuya five years ago, Tetsuya found a confidante in Sumire. Then friendship eventually led to where they were now. Tetsuya was a great guy. Hotaru was glad he found happiness after that heartbreak with Mikan.

If only her friend could find the same thing. Happiness after the heartbreak.

Hotaru looked at the quiet brunette sitting beside her. Why did it have to happen to her friend, of all people? Why did Natsume have to leave her like this, though unintentionally?

"Are you alright, Mikan?" Hotaru asked her friend quietly. She already knew she wasn't alright, but she asked nonetheless.

Mikan looked at her and gave her a timid smile, "I'm alright, Hotaru. As fine as I can ever be at this point."

Hotaru took her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze, which she returned.

.

.

Mikan held her tears in check as she gave her bestfriend a smile.

She promised herself that she would not break down again in front of anyone, especially her friends. They have been tiptoeing around her for the past few weeks, afraid that they'll cause her further despair if they even so much as referenced anything related to Natsume.

She may still be grieving and crying on her bed at night where no one else will see her do so, but she could not forgive herself if she dragged her friends with her down the abyss of her sorrow.

That was why she made it a point to smile, respond and sometimes, even initiate a conversation with her friends, so that they would stop being too cautious around her. She may be sad but she's not fragile, nor was she completely broken. Not yet. At least, not yet.

"Are you going home to Grandpa?" Hotaru asked her regarding her plans after graduation.

She nodded, unable to speak as memories of Natsume flooded her.

They were then reviewing for the exams in Natsume's room when Mikan asked him what he wanted to do after graduation. Natsume closed the textbook he was reading and tilt his head contemplatively.

"I guess, after visiting my family and your grandfather," he looked at her and smiled warmly. "I'd like to take you to the beach."

"The beach?" Mikan would like that, but why the beach?

"Yeah," he stood from the couch he was sitting in, and sat beside her on the floor at the foot of his bed. "You know, like sand, the sea and sunset. We'll be sitting on the beach, like this, facing the water—watching the waves." He reached for her hand and held it in both of his. "I'll be holding your hand. You'll be leaning your head on my shoulders."

She complied. "We'll be watching the sunset. How the sky and everything around us slowly turns orange. And, in that moment, when everything seems to stand still, I'll whisper in your ear how much I love you."

Mikan felt herself blush as Natsume did exactly that. She turned her head to look at him. His eyes reminding her of fire and sunsets.

"I love you, too, Natsume," she whispered back.

She would have liked that indeed. In fact, she was looking forward to it. It didn't have to be the beach, or the sunset. As long as she had Natsume beside her, holding her hand, she would have been fine.

Oh, God, she wanted him back so desperately.

"I'll also visit Grandpa when I get back," Hotaru said, drawing her back from her thoughts. "Then, we should hang-out when Ruka comes to visit."

She only nodded in agreement. She was afraid when she tried to talk, she would sob instead.

Her bestfriend gave her hand another squeeze, understanding the internal struggle she was having. She knew Hotaru was aware that while she was smiling on the outside, her heart was still bleeding in the inside.

.

.

"Is that my Mikan all-grown up?" her grandfather cried the moment she stepped in their house.

It has been a decade but their house didn't change much. It was as if she never left. She couldn't say the same to the town proper, however. There have been a few upgrades to their infrastructure over the years, which was a good thing.

Her grandfather ran to her, as fast as an old man assisted by a cane could, and gave her a surprisingly strong hug. She was finally home. She has waited for a decade to be able to embrace her grandfather like this again.

"Grandpa," she hugged him back, leaning her chin at the top of his head. He was shorter than she remembered, or she probably just really grew taller after a decade of not seeing each other. "I missed you so much."

"Oh, my sweet dear," he was crying on her shoulders now, making her tears surface as well. "I got your letter, and I was so excited to learn that you're finally coming home."

"Me, too, Grandpa," she muttered. "I'm so glad to be home."

Being in her grandfather's embrace, the pain she has been carrying in her heart for almost a month was alleviated a little. Not by much, but enough for her to feel a twinge of happiness, at least.

"Let me look at you," her grandfather gently pushed her away so he could look at her thoroughly. "Ah, yes, you look so much like your mother. I'm guessing you're about her age now when she had you."

"Grandpa," she whined playfully.

"What?" he continued to rant, waving his cane along. "You left home when you were barely able to ride a bus on your own, went to some fancy school, met boys, and I'm just thankful you only brought bags with you and not brought me a grandkid, like your mother."

"Grandpa," the playful tone in her voice was gone and was replaced by sorrow. She did meet boys, and fell in love with one. She would have brought him with her. She would have introduced him to her Grandpa. That was the plan. Then his mission ruined that plan.

"What is it, dear?" her grandfather asked, looking at her with such concern.

She shook her head, "Nothing. I'm just a little tired from the trip, that's all."

"Right, of course!" he clapped his hands, as if realizing something for the first time. "Let's get you settled first, and we can continue to catch-up over dinner."

He stood straight, and cleared his throat before calling someone from the general direction of the kitchen and dining area. "Jin! Come here, boy, and meet my granddaughter."

"Jin?" Mikan eyed her grandfather curiously. He was standing next to her, his back straight, and both hands in front of him holding his cane.

"You called, Grandpa?" she turned her attention to the kitchen upon hearing the stranger's voice. That was definitely not a voice of a _boy_.

A tall, lean guy with tousled midnight blue hair came walking towards them. He gave her a quick glance as he approached before training his eyes to her grandfather.

"Jin," the old man nodded to the new comer, then tilted his head towards her. "This is my granddaughter, Mikan. The one I was telling you about."

"Mikan," he turned to her then. "This is Jin. I took him in a couple of years ago. He's a good kid. He's studying in the community college in town. His grandfather's a friend of mine, so when he needed a place to stay near the college, I offered. I was alone here anyway, since you're away."

Jin smiled at her and offered his hand for a shake, "Nice to finally meet you, Mikan."

She shook his hand tentatively, "Nice to meet you, too. Thank you for keeping my grandfather company."

"Believe me, it was my pleasure."

Grandpa cleared his throat then and asked Jin to help her bring her luggage to her room.

As Jin left with her bags, the old man caught her arm before she could follow suit, and whispered, "Fine looking man, isn't he?"

"Grandpa," now she knew why he was being suspicious earlier when he called Jin for introductions.

"I'm just saying," was all he said before he left the room whistling nonchalantly.

.

.

After dinner, she excused herself right away, telling her grandfather and Jin that she's tired, and that she'd like to turn in early. They let her go, understanding how exhausting the trip probably was. In truth, she just wanted to avoid questions about her life in the Academy, not only because she couldn't really reveal much, but also because she did not think she can tell any story about the Academy without it reminding her of Natsume.

And thoughts of him could still easily bring her tears to the surface. Something she didn't want her grandfather to see, especially so soon after her return.

She was making her bed when she heard a light tap on her door, followed by her grandfather's low voice, asking if he could come in.

She called him in, and they both sat on her bed.

He looked at her with concern-filled eyes, "Granddaughter, is anything the matter?"

She looked at her feet, not able to look him in the eye when she's lying, "Nothing. Why would you think so?"

"We may have not seen each other a long time, but you're still my granddaughter. I raised you since you were a baby. I think I know when my Mikan is upset, or if something is bothering her."

She shook her head and swallowed hard. She wanted to tell him. She wanted to cry on his shoulders. But she couldn't be selfish and dampen their reunion with her own misery.

"This isn't about Jin, is it?"

She looked at her grandfather, furrowing her brows, "What do you mean?"

"You're not upset I took him in, are you?" he was really worried that she did not approve of his grandfather taking someone in.

"Grandpa," she smiled, as much a smile she could muster, and held his hands. "Why would I be upset? I'm genuinely thankful he's here to keep you company. It makes me feel less guilty knowing you were not alone all this time."

"Well, good," he said suddenly cheerful again. "Then, it shouldn't be a problem if you go to the Festival with him tomorrow, right?"

"Grandpa," she whined, feeling like a ten-year old. She hasn't even been back a full day, and already her grandfather had her acting like her whiny self again.

"Why? Is there anyone who you want to accompany you to the Festival tomorrow?"

_Yes! _she wanted to say but kept her mouth shut, which her grandfather took as a "no."

"Then, it shouldn't be a problem," he stood then and walked to her door. Before leaving though, he added, "Besides, it'll be the best way to get to know each other."

She should have known the moment her grandfather introduced her to Jin. He was playing matchmaker.

She shook her head and sighed in defeat.


	10. Chapter 10: Misery Business

**Winter Song**

* * *

.

**10| _Misery Business_**

.

This was for her grandfather.

With chagrin, she agreed to her grandfather's request and attended their town's Sakura Festival with Jin. Donning her light pink kimono with Cherry Blossom print, she and Jin, who was wearing a light green button-down shirt and dark jeans, walked in awkward silence to the town center.

From what she learned of Jin's personality over dinner yesterday, he's a genuinely nice guy. He didn't talk much, and was humble, too. In fact, to Mikan, he was like a mash-up of Iinchou's and Ruka's personality. The shy, friendly, approachable and reliable type. His features, however... well, he's like a slightly older version of Natsume.

Mikan secretly observed Jin while they walked. His midnight blue hair was straighter and less unruly compared to the Black Cat's impossible mess. Jin's side-swept bangs were also neater. His brows were thick and gentler where Natsume's seem to be always scowling. His eyes were deep brown, while Natsume's were fiery amber. His nose...

_Stop! _Mikan scolded herself.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She was not comparing Natsume with anyone. The only thing that this Jin has the same with Natsume was his hair color, and maybe his height. That's all.

But that was enough to make her heart twinge in pain.

And as if that's not enough, it didn't escape her notice that her Grandpa was determined to set them up together. She wouldn't have minded. The old Mikan would have playfully gone along. But it was just too soon.

She just couldn't fathom entertaining the idea of hooking up with another guy, even just to appease her grandfather's whim, while she still longed for Natsume to come back to her.

"I'm sorry about this," Mikan was startled to hear him talk. She was too deep in her thoughts that she almost forgot he was still there walking next to her.

"About what?" she asked.

"About this," he gestured to the both of them.

"This?" Mikan asked although she already had an idea of what he meant.

They were almost at the town center then. It was still fairly early in the afternoon that the shops and streets were not too crowded yet. The crowd was mostly composed of young couples, either in their kimonos or in their Sunday's best. They would surely blend right in, definitely what her grandfather had planned.

"Yeah," Jin lightly scratched the back of his head seeming embarrassed. "You're grandfather... he got it in his head that we... he just... he's trying to set us up, is what I mean."

Mikan shook her head, almost wanting to smile, "You noticed that, huh?"

"He wasn't exactly being subtle," he chuckled. "He was already at it even before you arrived."

That surprised Mikan, "Did you mean he's been building me up to you for days?"

His chuckle became a full-blown laugh, "No, for two years. Ever since I came to live with him,"

She sighed. What was her grandfather thinking? Was he so worried she wouldn't be able to find herself a great guy to spend her life with that he's set her up with the first great guy he met? If only he knew she got herself covered in that department. He just wasn't with her at the moment.

"I'm sorry," it was her turn to apologize. "I know Grandpa can be quite a handful."

Jin shook his head to fend off her apology, "You don't have to apologize. It was fine." Then, he gave her a meaningful smile before saying, "To be honest, I don't really mind."

Mikan realized that there could be a potential problem. Sure, Jin seemed like a great catch, but she had Natsume.

Ignoring her grandfather's schemes would be easy, but it'd be a different story if the guy he's trying to fix her up with develops a real crush on her. Better douse the flame while it's still just a spark.

She turned to Jin and was about to tell him there could never be anything between them other than friendship, but a Takoyaki stall caught his attention before she could even get a word out.

"I've been craving it for weeks," he exclaimed. He took her hand and pulled her towards the said stall. "Come on, Mikan. I'm sure you'll like this."

She sighed, conceding, and followed suit.

.

.

The guy sure loved Takoyaki. He must have eaten a dozen before he dragged her to another stall, then another. They ate, played games, and browsed at merchandise. They did just about everything people do in Festivals. Then finally, they went to the shrine to light a couple of incense sticks.

Jin wasn't so bad, company-wise. He seemed to be very enthusiastic, dragging Mikan here and there, and telling her trivial things about... anything, really. Mikan never got bored. It was as much fun as she could ever have given her state.

It really was fun. Or maybe it _would have been_ fun. The old Mikan would have been ecstatic, bouncing all over the place. The new one? She didn't really care enough to feel anything. She just went along. She ate the food he handed her to sample. She played wherever game stall he dragged her to. She gave him occasional responses to keep the impression that she was paying attention. But really she wasn't. She didn't really care.

Or maybe she did. She did care, just not about Jin's company. Actually, every food, every game that they tried, there was not one that didn't make her think of Natsume—of how she would have been sharing it all with him, if only he was here.

_I'm such a bad person,_ she lamented internally. _Jin doesn't deserve to be treated like this. He's such a nice guy. And he's been taking care of Grandpa._

"I wonder," Jin's sudden words startled Mikan from her reverie. The sun was already setting, and they were standing in front of a shrine, watching the incense sticks burn to ashes. "What did that school do to you?"

"I'm sorry?" _Is he interested in Alice Academy?_

She suddenly felt a little paranoid, and looked at him curiously. He, however, kept his gaze on the burning sticks.

Jin shrugged and explained, "Your grandfather talked about you a lot the past two years. He said that his granddaughter is a very cheerful girl and very vigorous. He also said that you always have an easy smile—a smile that can light up a room. But... I see none of that girl in you."

Mikan's eyes bulged, stunned. Has she really changed so much?

Jin chuckled, still not looking at her, "What type of school did you go to that a young cheerful girl enrolls there and graduates with a melancholy aura?"

Melancholy? Mikan hung her head. He was right. It's true. That's how she was now. It was why her friends have been tiptoeing around her during those few weeks before graduation. It was why her grandfather has been asking her if everything was alright with her. Well, she wasn't alright. That's also the truth.

Jin looked at her then, thinking she didn't hear him when she still didn't respond. The sadness he saw on her face made him want to gather her in his arms, which surprised him because he was not the hugger-type.

"I'm sorry," she said, almost a whisper. She followed it with a sigh and met his eyes. "I'm not much of a company, am I?"

Jin suddenly felt guilty for making _her_ feel guilty.

He shook his head, "No, no, you don't have to apologize. I didn't mean to make you feel bad when I said those observations."

Sure, it didn't escape his notice that she seemed to be in another world while he dragged her from one stall to another. But he didn't mind. She was still a better company than those clingy girls he seemed to be attracting of late. It was a little refreshing to find a girl who wasn't always all over him.

He wished she didn't look so sad, though.

"I just," she turned towards the shrine again, and sighed. "There's... someone."

"Oh, you have a boyfriend," he didn't expect that, but maybe he should have. She was very beautiful after all.

"Yes—no," she sighed again. "Yes."

"It's complicated?" he offered jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I guess," she turned and walked away. Jin thought that she was leaving, but she just went near a Sakura tree that was still in full bloom. In a few days time, all the flowers of that tree would also be falling off like the other Sakura trees.

He watched her touch the tree's rough branch longingly, as if doing so brought her closer to whoever she was really missing.

"There was an accident," she continued in a choked voice when he walked to stand next to her, facing the tree as well. "They say he's gone, but his body was never found."

Jin nodded comprehending, "And you're still hoping he comes back to you."

Mikan shook her head and turned to him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to dampen the mood."

He waved both hands to ward off her apology, and offered her a smile, "You really don't have to apologize."

He looked at the Sakura tree again, and felt a tinge of jealousy. What kind of man was her boyfriend to make Mikan this devastated when he's gone? Then he thought, would anyone—any girl—grieve for him that way when he's gone?

"I wonder though," he started to ask. "If he's still out there, why hasn't he returned yet?"

"I don't know," she muttered.

He asked his next question very cautiously, "Could it be he didn't want to come back?"

Her head snapped in his direction. The fiery look in her eyes said it all.

"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"You don't know him," she turned away from him. "He promised me he'll come back, and he never breaks his promises."

"I'm sure. I'm really sorry," she still refused to face him. "You're right. I didn't know him. If you say he'll come back, then maybe he will. No, _he will_."

Now he'd done it. Maybe he should just stick to the clingy shallow girls after all. Mikan obviously has some baggage, and he didn't know what to do or how to deal with her.

He moved to stand in front of her since she still refused to look at him and accept his apology.

"Look," he held both of her shoulders, and froze. He expected her to shoot daggers with those eyes, but not silent tears that made his heart clench.

She's crying. He never knew what to do when a girl was crying.

"Mikan, I'm sorry,"

_Oh, what the heck!_ He told himself before he wrapped his arms around her, and buried her face on his chest.

Her sobs were muffled by his now-drenched shirt. Other people in the shrine area looked at them suspiciously, especially at him for making a girl cry, but he didn't care. He only embraced her tighter, and leaned his chin on top of her head.

"Shh, Mikan," he gently ran his hand on her hair to comfort her. "It's alright. It's gonna be okay. I'm sure whoever this guy is, he'll come back to you. He'll be crazy not to."

Mikan continued to sob quietly, feeling embarrassed and comforted at the same time. She knew this wasn't proper, to cry in the arms of a virtual stranger. But in those few moments, she felt like those arms were Natsume's wrapped around her—like his warmth was embracing her once again. At least, in those few moments, as the sun fully surrendered the sky to the bright moon, she could pretend that he was back in her life.

* * *

_**Next Chapter: I Caught Myself  
**__Is love alive... when you're not where you belong; inside my arms_


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